Monday, April 26, 2010

against the wind....

so you know that beautiful weather we had yesterday?
the beautiful weather that was near PERFECT for a bike ride?
well, today....
today LOOKED that beautiful....
but looks can be deceiving, i tell you....

lewie is screaming, i mean SCREAMING....
nothing i am doing or NOT doing is helping him to settle down....
unless of course i just hold him 24/7.
and, i'm sorry lew, i love you but i'm NOT going to hold you all stinkin day!

so i get this brilliant idea....
the BIKE RIDE!!!!
totally worked yesterday....
so i go to load him onto the bike....
i have crap falling out of my pockets (cell phone, keys, garage opener)....
i need a bag.
i quickly try to think of all the bags i own.
i own 3.
a black purse.
a brown purse.
and a big ol' pink and grey backpack (i don't like pink, but it's for breast cancer, so i'll sport the pink for that)....
anyway.... all i need it to hold are my keys, phone and garage opener....
and maybe a small water bottle, just in case.
i have no idea where i'm headed, but i'm headed somewhere.
somewhere other than here listening to lewie cry non stop day in and day out....
dr says he's fine (health wise) for all you people thinking that something must be wrong with him....
i thought so too.... seriously.
sometimes it's just sooo freakin overwhelming that i can't even find the joy in parenting....
i feel like something MUST be wrong!

so i hop on the bike (with the huge backpack, no other choice) and ride off into the wind....
against the wind....
against the very windy wind.....
and uphill....
and instantly my legs start tightening up....
and i don't know how to shift gears on this bike....
it's totally not where i thought it was....
and so i just keep going....
pedal
pedal
pedal.
up hill....
and the wind is blowing so hard,
my bangs are pretty much standing straight up....
there is some piece of metal from lewie's bike seat that is directly underneath my bike seat and digging into my leg.
i'm pretty sure i've half way severed my left leg off on this bike ride....
i'm a few major streets away from home now....
and the wind is just punishing me....
come up to the next red light and "SIDEWALK CLOSED"
negative.
i'm turning my chubby butt around and going back where i came from....
so i go to turn around and nearly lose it.... i'm facing UPHILL AGAIN!!!!

and the wind is directly in my face.... AGAIN!!!!
How the heck is that even possible?
every direction i turn, the wind did too.
at least i think it did.
well, okay, so it totally FELT like it did....
totally....
i can't even start pedaling.
i feel like i'm learning how to ride a bike all over again.
my left shoe fell off because it hit the bottom of the feetsie holders to lewie's seat....
so i had to stop the bike and fix my shoe....
at this point, i'm frustrated.
i contemplate calling someone for a ride,
or better yet, hitchhiking home.
i started walking the bike uphill, and passed a bus stop "LAGUNA HILLS."

psssh, i should have known that living in a city with 'HILLS' in its name was not one i should be riding bikes in....

or maybe i'm just way beyond the point of return....
it's funny how you leave the house with an attitude like "ha! i'll show YOU to cry all day! i'm gonna take my aggression out on this bike ride!!! i'm gonna power those hills up and down and i'm going to come back buff and you're going to be asleep!"

and then you come home, panting, like, "o.... okay.... sh.... i can.... i can't freakin.... i can't freakin breathe.... wa.... wa wa.... water!..... someone.... HELP!"

my online history course starts in a few weeks.

oh look!
a chicken!

sorry i know that was a little off topic....
but i had to quickly make you forget about how horribly out of shape i was and make you focus on the super intelligent, highly motivated side of me.... i'm taking a course that i hate with a passion....

well folks, that's it.... just remember, i may not be in the best shape, but i'm dang motivated to finish school.
the end.

6 comments:

Pat Tillett said...

that is too darn funny!
maybe next time try it without the training wheels...

Ms. Anthropy said...

At least you didn't leave Lewie and the bike and hitch a ride home. Crying babies can be so frustrating. If they could only tell us what the problem is. Can you imagine one of the little squirts saying... "It's okay mom, I just cry because I'm spoiled!" Then, you can feel totally justified leaving them on the side of the road... downwind... sound carries.

Copyboy said...

Seeing you struggle in the wind with that pink knapsack must've been quite a site. BTW...I would've gladly given you a push if you needed it.

Ashley King said...

@Pat, i totally took the training wheels off.... well, one of them.

@Ms Anthropy. i really almost left them.... both. talk about a MISERABLE past few days. lol. i try to remind myself, constantly, that there will be ups and downs with parenting and then i just can't help but to think that my downs outweigh my ups a lot of the time.... how NEGATIVE of me... i try SO incredibly hard not to be negative, but yeah.... i just could NOT help it lately.... bleh.

@Copyboy, i totally could have used a push.... or maybe just a chain to the back of your car would have done the trick. i could have been dragged home. it would have been much better than walking with spaghetti noodle legs.... bleh.

ASBLACKASOBAMA said...

Did he end up falling asleep or enjoying the bike ride?

Ashley King said...

he enjoyed the bike ride.... sort of.... had his feet on my bum the entire time....

however, when we got home, i just took him straight to his crib and put him down, and he was OUT! =) score one for mom! ;)