when i really meant to ask, "would you quit talking?"
i didn't mean for him to go and die on me now....
heck, he's the light of my life.
the sunshine in my day.
the apple of my eye.
or whatever else they say....
he's all of that good stuff.
i'll just say, "he's the chocolate of my life." (now THAT'S some good stuff !!!! speaking of chocolate, i just found a 1 lb see's candy gift certificate in my underwear drawer. YESSSSSS!!!!!)
so last night, we went to a wonderfully stuffing sushi dinner.
i ate so much, in fact, i could feel sushi backing up into my esophagus....
to try to push the sushi down, i thought a sliver of cake might help, but then i realized my stuffed esophagus was very much like a clogged toilet and that adding MORE toilet paper (or cake) to a clogged toilet (or esophagus) was only going to worsen or overflow the situation....
thankfully i didn't hurl.
(and thankfully he didn't either.)
he must have said "cheers", well let's just say, far more than i can ever remember him "cheers"ing anyone before....
he was having a good time.
and i felt torn.
there was the motherly (aka Godly, bossy, spazzy, crazy, controlling wife) side of me that wanted to say "there now. you've had enough."
and then there was this other side of me, that, (again in this relationship, just sat back and let the man make his own decisions) enjoyed seeing him so happy. he wouldn't stop smiling. this week has been a good one, i tell you.
jason is a hard man to buy gifts for.
he owns very little, but tells you he has all he needs and/or wants....
you think you'll surprise him with something, but chances are he won't like it or he won't be able to enjoy it because, if you've spent even a dollar on it, you've already spent too much.
wellllll, i made up my mind, that his care for money needed to go out the window and i wasn't going to listen to his voice in my head that i normally do when i get him a gift, because, by golly, i was going to get him a gift and make his birthday special this year.
so.... made a great dinner (slow cooked a pot roast all day with some potatoes and carrots) which turned out great (thanks mom for the seasoning and coffee idea! ) baked some homemade chocolate chip cookies ("from scratch cookies", as jason likes to call em) he LOVES these by the way.... we got him a mountain bike for his birthday this year. we'd all like to get out more, and, well the next big holiday that would call for any kind of larger gift giving would be either our anniversary or Christmas, which (both) would be in December, and well far beyond the sunny days of wanting to actually get outside and ride a bike (the summertime!).... so it was necessary that we make the "bike purchase" now... only, i don't have a bike either, so do i buy us BOTH bikes? well then if i did that, i'd be spending probably about 500 bucks and if i bought myself a bike, then it really wasn't like a birthday present for HIM.... anyway, borrowing mom's old one until we figure that part out. woo hoo. (thanks, again, mom!)....
so last night.... sushi dinner.... with the rest of our families.... combined. a bunch of people.... lots of talking, and laughing and pictures and just a good time. and then there was Lewie.... who fought like heck to be a good boy.... but he struggled. he was tired. he wanted his bed. he didn't like the noise from the other parties that joined the place at some point during the night.... lewie's arching his back, screaming his little head off. his face is BRIGHT red, and he is just NOT a happy camper. but over all the noise, jason couldn't hear it. he was at the other end of the table, laughing and chatting with everyone. (i LOVE to see my husband this happy, by the way) so that "motherly" side of me that wanted to call it a night, was a bit overpowered by the side of me who is thankful for a husband like him. he never goes out, never spends any time with his friends, and if you ask him, that's the way he wants it.... to be home with us rather than out at some bar that he's spent the last 10 years at.... (or maybe he's just saying what he thinks i want to hear?) either way, i'm grateful, that i NEVER wonder where my husband is.... i NEVER go to sleep alone... i NEVER have to wonder if he's driving under the influence of anything. i am just grateful. very, very grateful.
he enjoyed himself last night, as did i.
i enjoyed watching him socialize with everyone.
i baked a yellow cake (with CHOCOLATE frosting) and took that with us to the japanese restaurant and at some point after our sushi stuffing fest, we decided we'd better sing happy birthday to Jason.
well the ENTIRE restaurant decides to sing happy birthday, and by "the entire restaurant" i mean "the ENTIRE restaurant"....
someone even shut all of the lights off and the only thing lit was his cake.
it was awesome!
and when everyone cheered after the singing, someone flickered the lights on and off while the ENTIRE restaurant clapped and roared and whistled....
now, my husband....
he's a quiet guy.
a shy guy, don't-go-big, i'm-not-a-birthday, kind of guy....
but he was loving it....
even i could see that.
and THAT is a wonderful feeling....
we wrapped it up shortly after the cake part, and headed to the truck.
he gets in the truck and looks over at me and softly says "i love you baby."
i didn't know if he was talking to Lewie or to me (taylor went home with my mom and poppa a little bit earlier)....
i looked over at him and he was just smiling at me....
he told me i was his most favorite person in the entire world....
his most favorite person ever....
ever ever ever....
it made me smile....
i wanted to acknowledge him and go on about how much i love him and how much he is MY favorite person in the world, but didn't want to interrupt his "i love you so much" speech....
so i let him go on....
he'd say it again , "you're my favorite person in the world mama. you're so good to me."
and i said, "i hope i'm your favorite person! you're stuck with me forever."
he said, "i'm not stuck. i choose to be here."
sounded very much like something i tell him almost daily....
i'm not stuck.
i choose to be here....
and what an awesome choice.
what a HEALTHY choice.
so really, when i thought "stop breathing. you're fogging up the windows," what i really wanted to say was "stop talking, you're fogging up the windows."....
but instead, i tightened the scarf around my neck, turned on the "anti-heavy breathing" defroster and listened to him tell me, again (*batting my eyelashes*), how wonderful i am....
no, but really.... stop talking, you're fogging up the windows....
2 comments:
AWWW, I love how healthy you and Him are in your relationship!!! Now if everyone would only know that by hashng out the little things in counseling worked so well, maybe they would go too and be as happy as you are!!! Papa and I combined have gone for over 50 yrs. I've gone since I was about 27 so there's 25 yrs right there and he's gone for about the same. We are so lucky that despite our troubled childhoods, we have found our way with true belief in love and happiness.....
AMEN!!! =)
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