Monday, June 28, 2010

dead on the scene.

i could stoop to a level,
so low.
i could stoop to your level,
with low blows.
i could spill all the secrets,
that I know.
but there are some places, right now,
i won't go.

i could talk mess about you,
for days though.
'cause there is so much to say,
that they DON'T know....
because if turning against you
was my M.O.
then i'd have fought back,
a long time
ago.
i would have loaded up on all of
the ammo.
and i would have stopped trying,
to help you,
fly solo.

i would have fired back in your face,
the first time you effed up,
i wouldn't have reached out my hand,
to pull you back up.
i wouldn't have picked you up off the floor
and carried you to your room,
i would have left you right there,
where everyone presumed you.....
dead on the scene....
if i were that mean.

11 comments:

Ms. Anthropy said...

You mean you're still having issues? Poor thing. If you can't make your way to peace, I hope you can find your way to indifference.

Georgina Dollface said...

Sometimes thinking about all the things we could have done, but chose not to do can be pretty empowering. - G

buymebarbies said...

"DITTO" for me. Somehow, all the good that came out of us, just disappeared, into thin air, never to be thought of again, EVER!!! It continues to this day, the good going unnoticed!! That's what makes me walk away!!

Shell said...

I'm so sorry that this is still going on. HUGS!

Ally said...

oh no :( this doesn't sound good. hugs.

Melissa said...

But, you're not that mean. I'm missed you guys on Friday night. We were next door for Reggae night. It was fun. By the time I went to the Dog, you guys had left :-( I saw Padio though. I must have just missed you two.

Anonymous said...

You're just a poet and don't even know it! Excellent post(again)! Your words about her are much more eloquent than her words of you.

Marlene said...

Hugs.

buymebarbies said...

@ Anonymous, they ALWAYS have been!! What one accuses another of, is usually what they are guilty of!!! Mine and Ashley's meekness has always been taken for weakness and when that happens, my claws come out!!

Ashley King said...

i appreciate everyone's condolences (right word??) haha. but i'm okay. really. there comes a point where you just sort of slowly let go... where the effort to continue the relationship just gets the best of you, and you get so tired.... slowly giving up after realizing it isn't ever going to change.... i appreciate all the wonderful thoughts. i am okay. i hope these posts don't come across as me looking for pity.... again, it's just part of the bumpy road, well, it's kind of like telling about the bumps after you drive over them, if that even makes any sense.... it doesn't affect me physically, mentally or emotionally anymore... do i wish things could be different? of course, i think everyone does, however, how much effort and time can you take away from the things and people that DO make you happy, in order to try to repair something that just doesn't want to be "repaired"?

buymebarbies said...

AMEN Ashley!! A person has to fix themselves first before they can even begin to fix all the relationships they've broken!!!