Tuesday, June 22, 2010

mr. crossword.

it's been a long while since i have written about the medical days....
and i guess because so many other things have come up in my life,
like school,
and a whole bunch of other stuff that i'm trying to keep under control and not go nuts like i normally do....
getting all wrapped up in EVERYTHING and forgetting about what i need to do at the moment....
which is school.

quick update:

-we've passed the halfway point for this history class. after 4 discussion board posts and 2 exams (1 midterm), i am currently at a 93.75%.... rockin' an A for a class i knew absolutely NOTHING about. i'm excited. i hope this good stuff continues.

-i cancelled my eye surgery last week. i was supposed to have it done this friday (the 25th).... there were a few small errors that they had made, which was not very comforting considering all i have left is very poor vision.... i can't go WITHOUT that.... i don't want to go without that.... so i stirred around in a bit of discomfort and uneasiness, and thought, "i'll just do it. this surgeon is really good," until his office called to "confirm" my surgery. they had me down for the wrong surgery on the wrong date. i told them, "no, that's not right. i changed the date, and the dr changed the procedure." so the guy rescheduled it for the RIGHT surgery and the RIGHT date, and then i called him back about 2 minutes later and cancelled. i figured it might be a sign that i'm just not supposed to get my eyes done right now.... alll the little errors they had made and then the biggest one of all.... i was done, for now. i'll look into other doctors after school is done. i don't have the time or energy to do all of that again. i was REALLY disappointed at first, but i'm okay with it at the moment.

now back to my medical days stuff....

i have been thinking about this one patient that i had who was diagnosed with AIDS. most of the time, i had only had patients with cancer, and this was the very first time i had a patient with aids.... i didn't know how to be. i felt all choked up and like i was seeing a cancer patient for the first time... what do you say? do you say you're sorry? will that offend them? how do you act? i felt pretty knowledgeable about the disease, but still felt like i didn't know enough. i feel like i blanked and started questioning the proper practices and such.

and then it hit me.... (like things normally do)....

i walked into his room, and he sat at the edge of his bed.
he was so skinny.
i had a big smile and introduced myself to him.
i honestly got that same feeling that i alllllways do with my patients.
i just wanted to hug him.
i just wanted to throw my arms around him and say, "it's gonna be all right!!!"
but i'm pretty certain he would have just thought i was crazy.
so i smiled.
he smiled.
we small talked a bit.
he asked to borrow a pen.
and i let him.
it was amazing to me, the things that the other nurses had said.
"don't take the pen back. just let him keep it."
"only go in there when you have to."
blah blah blah....
i felt like i wanted to go in there extra.
i felt like i wanted to keep popping in there to check on him.
give him extra company, because no one else was there.
and no one else was going in to check on him.
was it because i wanted to watch the nurses squirm?
maybe.
but even more so, it was because he was MY patient...
he was MY patient and he was going to be taken care of to my best ability on MY shift....
you know, when you work with lousy people, it just pushes you that much harder to do a better job.
i never understand why people are in jobs that they hate....
if you don't like what you do, then don't do it.
but i'll let you know,
that when you work in a HOSPITAL, it's because people need you!!!!
people are at an extremely vulnerable time,
and they. need. you.
yes you.
they need their family.
they need the staff.
they need compassion.
and human contact.
that young man needed someone to talk to about his crossword puzzle.
he needed a pen to do his crossword puzzle,
because no one came to visit him.
no one was there to BRING him a pen,
for his crossword puzzle.

he was sick.
he wasn't contagious....

i am glad i was there that day.
i feel so blessed that i was his person for those days....

12 comments:

TS Hendrik said...

That's a very sad, sweet story. He was lucky to have you as a nurse.

And regarding the eye surgery... What the heck!? I can understand scheduling the date wrong, but the wrong operation?! I don't blame you for backing out on that one. That's just ten kinds of creepy.

Pat Tillett said...

You know...the Mr. Crossword portion of this post is one of the main reasons I love you so much!
You have so much compassion for people. Especially so, when they need it the most. I'm really proud of you Ashley...

Micael "Rabbit" Chadwick said...

I found this post from Pat, and I can't quit crying. 17 days ago I was diagnosed HIV+ and more recently with AIDS. I am that skinny guy sitting on the edge of the bed that would welcome the hug, the smile, the pen...

You are beautiful. And thank you for being you. It's a weird world on this side of that fence and people like you make more difference than you will ever, EVER realize. And you're one in a million.

Thank you again. I am usually not so at a loss for words.

Ashley King said...

@TS , thank you, dear friend. yes i know, right? cancel that surgery if you don't even know WHAT the heck you plan on doing with my eyes!!! hahaha. laaaame! and i was SOOOO excited i would be able to see!!!! what a bubble buster. haha.

@Poppa, awwww hee mee mee. thanks pop!!! you don't have to be proud of something that comes natural, can you? if i really went OUT OF MY WAY, maybe.... like be proud of me for how i deal with my husband. now THAT is some effort. haha, i'm kidding. kind of. but really. i appreciate your appreciation. =) love you.

@Micael. wow. i don't know what to say. saying "i'm sorry," just doesn't seem right, but i am sorry for the things you will encounter. the stupid people. the pain. feeling sick. i wish i were there.... 17 days is recent.... i hope you are holding up well.... i just went to your blog, and it seems like you are.... what a great spirit to have.... it will keep you a lot healthier with an outlook as great as yours. ;) don't forget that.... imagine me.... with a big smile, a hug. and a pen.... =)

KaLynn said...

I am Michael's mom. You sound like the round of nurses we have had for the most part. There have been some that I had to actually go hunt down but for the most part the nurses have been great with Michael. They have made Michael's 3 weeks stay much more pleasant because of their attitudes.

I want to thank you as Michael's mom, and for other moms, for taking the extra time with that young man. No, he wasn't my son but he could have been.

You brought tears to my eyes and joy to my heart. You are a wonderful person.

AND I most certainly do not blame you one bit for cancelling the surgery!

Ms. Anthropy said...

I already knew you were special and then, after reading the comments, I know others think you are as wonderful, as I do. I felt so emotional after the post, now, after the comments... well, you know... I must go get a tissue.

Ally said...

Aww Ashley, you're so awesome. What a cool story. Thanks for telling us about that.

FourthGradeNothing.com

buymebarbies said...

Your heart is full of compassion for others and everyone loves you for that!! I'm proud to have you as my daughter. Love, MOM

DL Hammons said...

I am a relative newby to your blog and I just wanted to say that you give me hope that there are more nurses (you are a nurse...right?) like you out there. I have so much respect for the person you seem to be and the work you do. Kudo's galore to you!!! :)

Dani-Ellephoto said...

I love it! You have such a heart of gold :) And you really see the things the way the rest of the world should.

Marlene said...

You sound like such a sweet, compassionate person. Love that!!!
The world needs more people like you.

On the eye surgery, I think you're right in going with your gut. If it doesn't feel right - don't do it. I'd certainly be a feeling a bit off if they screwed up like that, too. Yikes.

Ashley King said...

KaLynn, honestly, no thanks are necessary.... i wish i were there to help! i do! sending nothing but prayers, love and internet hugs your way!!!! you two are VERY strong!!! =) i'm glad you're there for him!!!! some folks have no one!

Ms. A. you are too kind!!! you already know how i feel about you too!!! =) *hugs*

Ally, of course! there are SO many more stories, feelings and emotions where that came from! ;) thanks for stopping by!!!

hey thanks MOM!!!! =) i'm proud of YOU, as my mother!

DL, thanks for coming by!! I'm NOT actually a nurse, but was a certified nurse's assistant. (CNA), i AM taking my classes to finish up nursing school though. so i'll be back in the field again one day. ;) thank you, my friend! did you ever link up with the last few states you needed??

@Danielle, thanks girl. i know you see the world just the same!

@Marlene, why thank you! yeah, i'm still super disappointed about the eye surgery. today is the 24th. tomorrow is the 25th. would be having new vision tomorrow if i didn't cancel. =( BUT, i'll look into a great doctor, and go forward with it VERY soon! =) i can't wait!