it's been years since I was in the 7th grade, but i still feel horribly guilty about this....
we were watching a film in our 7th grade english class.
lights were out.
tv was loud.
this goofy looking kid sat behind me....
he kept kicking my chair and it was slowly driving me nuts.
i'd asked him to stop a bunch of times.
he wouldn't stop.
i even threatened him and told him that if he didn't stop, i was going to punch him.
yeah.
that's what i said.
"if you don't stop, i'm gonna punch you!!!!"
he didn't stop.
in fact, he kept kicking and LAUGHED while he did it.
i remember his shoes left shoe marks on my clothes and that was it for me.
i turned around and slugged the guy so hard, right in his face.
i knocked his glasses off of his face and onto the floor and he cried.
i felt horrible.
speaking of glasses....
it reminded me of when this kid named jonathan guerrero and some other bully played keep away with my glasses in first grade, and when they dropped them (somewhere) on the playground, i couldn't see them, and i remember asking people in passing if they saw a pair of glasses on the ground....
is that absolutely pathetic of me that I remember 2 boys playing keep away with my glasses in the first grade?
you'd think you'd let the small stuff go, right?
i think this was the beginning of my caring heart....
i never wanted to intentionally make someone feel that bad....
well that started the caring heart thing, but why, at SUCH a young age did i start hoarding things?
(fear of abandonment?) i don't know.... but i still have EVERY single pair of glasses i've ever owned.
i have a totem pole that i made in 1st grade.
i have a doll that my dad gave me when i was five.
since then i've thrown up in her hair, attempted to wash it, and when that failed, i just cut her tangled hair and then attempted to brush the rest. (that was at about 7 years of age, and i stillllll have this doll. her name is pamela.)
i think i'm going to take a picture of all of these belongings (dysfunctions) and post them on here.
THEN i just might start feeling embarrassed that i still actually have all this stuff and start getting rid of it.
anyway.... sorry brian wooten for punching you in the face and knocking your glasses off.
now i'd probably better go help jason. he's outside pulling weeds by his lonesome.
what a great husband.
i hate yardwork.
4 comments:
oh my gosh- you are a hoarder! i was totally gonna write a blog about how we hoard people in our lives and not just things. but shshshs don't tell anyone or it won't be a surprise. wait. dammit. anyway, my daughter is this way, she cries when i throw things away that are obviously garbage. i don't even know how to get a child help for this. i know why she does it. when she says to me that a disposable one use toothbrush "is still good" i know she is telling me "i am still good". its heartbreaking.
anyway, i went camping this weekend and meant to let everyone know before i left but didn't manage it.
and yes, i am alive.
That's what makes you who you are Ashley. You've always been that way, even before your 1st grade experience. You came into this world a compassionate person.
I'm totally a hoarder too. I think it makes me feel safe to have things around that being back good memories or things that make me happy just by being pretty.
I'm finally popping in to say hello! Thank you for coming to my blog! It's been a crazy week, and I'm just now getting the chance to come to yours too.
Hello! :)
hey there!
i think i am so afraid of forgetting my life.... i think that's why i've always written. i have journals going so far back as to when i could barely understand my own writing. i have ticket stubs from catalina island trips we took as a family when we were younger. i would take a pen and write over the dates when they started rubbing off.... i would keep maps and tickets of zoos we would visit. i tried to keep them together with pictures of us from the visit.
i've kept games that i've enjoyed playing (thinking that my kids would somehow care to know and may even want to play the games that i played when i was younger, like shark attack and mall madness).... which i'm sure they will probably have no interest in playing (especially when there are missing pieces)....
i think it's a fear of forgetting my life and the wonderful memories that have been made.... i kid you not, i have folders and journals full of stories of my life..... i'll have to repost some of those some time.
they're rather hilarious (and some are even highly dysfunctional), but it gives good insight about why i am the way that i am and why i've chosen the people i've chosen in my life up and until this point.
mainland, i'm glad you're here. =)
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