Thursday, September 10, 2009

so long my beloved pregnancy legs....

This was actually a draft saved from last night....

So those of you who know me (and knew me during my pregnancy), knew that about three months into my pregnancy I bagn having difficulty walking and towards the end ofthe pregnancy was given a new set of legs.... A wheelchair.... After the leopard cane ceased assisting me, we skipped the walker and went straight to wheelchair. It was like getting my life back!!!! I could go to costco if I needed to (with someone going with me and driving and all that) but hey! I was OUT OF THE HOUSE! Wooo hooo!!! We even went to the OC swap meet twice. I probably felt as great as those old folks who get that "hover-round" (have you seen those commercials; the one with the 2 old ladies on the edge of the grand canyon cuz they got their motorized "hover-round" (sp) ahahahaha!!! Yeah. I got a lot of stares but I honestly didn't even care. We thought about wrapping up my leg or ankle so it would look like I had a reason to be in a wheelchair rather than telling people who asked "what's wrong?" that "oh my pelvic bone is separated." People don't even KNOW that such a thing existed!!!! Heck, I didn't either until growing the monster!!! Anyway.... It's a fantastic feeling to slowly be regaining all that was there before the pregnancy (with the exception of a few pounds, they could gladly NOT come back and I wouldn't even complain!!!) It's nice to be able to not feel so dependent and needy (well I still am, but at least he doesn't have to push me in the wheelchair) I only get really needy in the middle of the night when the shark's been awake for a few hours and I just can't take it anymore.... Or when I really wannt be snuggled on saturday and sunday mornings.... But I don't even have to ask for that.... =) I love my husband. Ohhh noooo here she goes again about how much she loves her husband right? Haha, I'll save it this time.... Ohh whatever.... At my funeral, I want the world to understand the kind of love I have for Jason. It's a love unlike ANYTHING I've ever known before! I want people to talk about that kind of love.... It's contagious! I also want people to know how very much Taylor saved my life.... She just did and I want her to know that she was TRULY an Angel sent to mommy, that helped mommy more than she could ever know! Lewie, well they can just tell him he made his mommy crazy! Haha!! Awwww I'm kidding! Love that little man! I feel like Jason's with me all day. I want him to have a heart as big and great and as loyal as his father's.... I want him to be as faithful and honest and hardworking as him too (well he doesn't have to work THAT hard.) I want him to be home to enjoy his family too. =). I want him to know what a great daddy he has and how lucky he is to have an older sister who loves him so much and has been soooo loving and patient and selfless.... Okay this totally turned into a self-written what's it called? That thing they read when someone passes away??... Ohhhh it's at the tip of my tongue. Man! Hahaha!

Oh excuse the long pause. Isn't that weird how I can have stopped typing for a few minutes and you never could have been able to tell, unless of course, I told you? I had to kiss my husband, who is making an el pollo loco run because I have felt like absolute crud all night and didn't want to cook (and because it's the closest to us)....

If you don't want to hear me talk about my husband, proceed to paragraph 256, below. Ha! There is this amazing sense of "being right where you belong" when I am with him. His kisses, our joking with each other, his thoughtfulness.... I just love the way we mesh. Cliche, I know. But there has NEVER, not one single second, where I've felt like I've wanted to be anywhere else but right here.... Next to him.... Sharing a home together. Our hearts together. Our lives together.... Yeah.... This is right where I'm supposed to be....

Paragraph 256. Sooooo, however I got soo distracted, I'm back to where I started this original thought.... So long my beloved pregnancy legs!!!! May all the folks at the senior center enjoy you as much as I did!!!!

1 comment:

Jenni Newman said...

You need to stop that eulogy talk! I like that you're sharing your thought and how thankful you are but Ash, you don't need to say "when I'm gone"
Good bye wheel chair you wont be missed! :oD