Thursday, September 17, 2009

housewife, schmousewife!

this was started days ago.... i didn't add anything else to it.... just posted it as was in my "drafts" section.  just wanted it posted, as it was sitting there, like many things of mine, half finished.... here's to finishing what i start....

so i feel like i'm coming to the conclusion that i'm really not cut out to be a housewife!
although these past few weeks have made me feel very much like an OC housewife, there is still a part of me that DOESN'T feel like one!
i can honestly say that after 8 weeks of being at home with a newborn and a 7 year old, i think that going to work a 9-6 job (yes, 9-6.... those were my hours before) is a lot easier than staying at home!!!!  
i don't know how to cook (and don't enjoy it for that matter, not yet anyway), i have very little patience and i HATE to clean!!!! all three are really kinda VERY important to be a stay at home mom!
Jason is an incredibly hard worker and he works extra hard so that we can stay home and enjoy our time together.... but i wonder how women do it? i mean, do they lose their mind (and patience) like i do?  do they sometimes just have meltdowns and cry, (i mean, i don't do that, but i wonder if other people do) ;) okay, so maybe i cry a little every now and again.... but it is OVERWHELMING at times!
my little man will sleep, if we're at home and he's on his stomach, and he's on our bed.... but what happens if we are out and about running some very much needed errands and aren't home at noon or 4 for his second nap? he'll sleep in his carrier or in the car right? WRONG!!!!!! today i ran some errands, and not anything major.... he would NOT sleep for the LIFE OF HIM!!!!!! (or me!)  it is now a few minutes after 5 and he has been on his stomach in my room for a few moments now (screaming his head off by the way) but i think he is FINALLY starting to fall asleep! PHEWF! 
i know i get short fused and snappy with taylor and everyone else who crosses my path during these times.... i apologized to taylor for being "a tad grumpy."  i told her it's usually not her fault.... 
is it completely pathetic that even though Lewie's NOT screaming right now, i can still hear his screaming in my head and it feels like he IS still screaming? ugh! go away, go away go away! like the bad dreams i had last night! you wake up feeling like they are SO real, and like they really happened, but they didn't? yuck. weird. i hate that feeling!

1 comment:

Jenni Newman said...

I like this! When I had Heidi I quickly learned that I wasn’t going to be a good housewife, although I really wanted to be. Matt is the cook in the family and I can’t even come close to his fixing up his delicious meals. Cleaning, HA! I’m more of a tidy-upper type person. If there is nothing on the ground or counters my house is clean! Hence why we had a cleaning lady for 4 years. My suggestion is finding a different job, one that only works while Tiki’s is school. It seems like you’re doing this more for yourself (to have an outlet and break) than the money. So, do something fun that you’ll enjoy! LA Fitness or Starbucks (support your addiction). That extra money can go to Shark’s sitter and a cleaning lady! I went back to work after Heidi was three weeks old and it was the best thing I ever did for both Heidi and I. It put a different type of structure in our lives. Heidi’s okay with Matt and I coming and going and there is no need for meltdowns because she knows we’ll be back, she’s better with other adults and kids and now she understand that anyone over 4 feet tall can help her get what she wants or needs.
So I guess what I’m getting at is if Jason doesn’t need you to work 9-6 why do it? You choice isn’t either housewife or work 9-6, explore your other options. Do something you’ll enjoy!