most of the time i can joke myself out of a bad mood and/or day, but today.
today i am just grumpy.
and i don't need the pity, i just needed to vent.
i went to sleep with an upset stomach last night.
likely caused by the CHOCOLATE that i INSISTED on eating....
because staring chocolate in the face, and weighing out the option of possibly an upset stomach or nightmares.... chocolate totally won.
then as i'm trying to fall asleep.
so i'm squinting at my phone, reading facebook status updates because that usually makes me want to go to sleep.....
until i read something about the grim sleeper finally being arrested after 20+ years and 11 murders later.... he lived close to a few of my friends.
i didn't know who the "grim sleeper" was, so i googled him.
then i really couldn't go to sleep.
KNOWING that i had eaten chocolate and that USUALLY everytime i eat chocolate i get nightmares, now i was just doomed...
and then you know what happened?
i went to sleep with my glasses on.
i didn't want to take them off, because then i couldn't see if some grim sleeper came walking into my room in the middle of the night....
so i slept with my glasses on, scared. lol. it wouldn't have been so bad if jason didn't fall asleep before me, but he totally does....
and then i had a nightmare, that likely only lasted about 12 seconds, but it felt like it was going on for 2 days....
i dreamt, no, nightmared, that i was in school.... and that some guy had broken into my house (which was somehow attached to my school that i was in) i know it doesn't make sense, but this is just how dreams/nightmares work out. so i was in my bedroom/school, and this guy breaks in and tells me he is going to kill me. and this is right after jason left our bedroom/school to go somewhere and told me i would be safe. and all i could think about was how horribly guilty he was going to feel once this guy killed me and he came back to find me dead.
this guy started pushing down on my throat and i just remember thinking, "just close your eyes.... hopefully he'll stop." then next thing i know (in my dream), i'm lying outside on the lawn.... and the guy has locked himself inside the school and there is a swat team surrounding the school and everyone has guns.... except for me.... and there is a helicopter flying around the school really low.... and the "swat" guys looked like they could be the "bad guys" and i thought i was going to get shot.... do you know how scary that feels when you're sleeping? like you are totally going to get shot at any moment, and you don't know who's going to shoot you?
so i was lying there in the grass, face down, and i told myself again, "just close your eyes and that way if someone shoots you, you won't even know it's coming." it was SUCH an awful feeling!!!! but i couldn't wake myself up.
so i woke up with a stomach ache (from the night before)
and felt all out of sorts from the dream/nightmare....
being an absolute animal and has been for the past week getting 6 new teeth in, all at once, and so, that hasn't been pleasant for me anyone.
it wouldn't be so bad if he just kinda whimpered or whatever, but he is SOOOOO LOUD, it makes MEEEE want to scream louder than HE does.... and i'm not even breaking teeth, but feel like i SHOULD BE!
anyway.... so i go get starbucks before my migraine kicks in, and while i'm slowly backing into a parking spot (yes backing in, because the parking lot is set up SO stupidly), i get lost in remembering a part of my nightmare and bump into the post!!!! that is the FIRST time i have bumped into ANYTHING in my truck! GREAT! i didn't even want to get out and look. i was scared about what it would look like.
but i got out and looked anyway....
and looked harder....
and there really wasn't anything.
so i got starbucks and then headed over to get my oil changed.
quick and easy and painless, i thought....
until they didn't have any other customers, so of course they're going to "recommend" that i need a whole new, oh, EVERYTHING.... dude, my truck is still new....
"why don't you just write down all of your recommendations and i'll have my husband look over that list. i don't want to deal with any of that right now. i just want my oil changed," i said. now i know everyone's business is slow with the economy and everything, and everyone's just trying to make an extra buck here and there (and all the time).... BUT i am also trying to SAVE a buck (or $700) and with all of their recommendations, and lewie's crying and taylor's little attitude, because she didn't get a starbucks drink, i was on the verge of telling them where they could shove my dirty air filter.
.... but i didn't.
my eyes just filled with tears, because when i get mad, that's what happens.
it's stupid, i know.
BUT that is the EASIEST i have EVER gotten out of any car place before.
then i go back to the mall by our house to go birthday present shopping for friend's children whose birthday parties are this weekend.... again....
i just went shopping yesterday but didn't find everything i needed. so back we went.
lewie suddenly thinks he's spiderman and can twist and climb until he is ALMOST out of his stroller and that's having his STRAPPED IN TIGHTLY! he's NUTS i tell you!
get the present and come home.
i KNOW i must produce results soon or i'm going to sit around feeling terribly grumpy for the rest of the day....
so i edged the lawn.
and then mowed it.
and then started pulling weeds.
and then ALMOST picked up a dog terd, when i remembered i was supposed to remind taylor that she needed to pick up the dog poop today....
(i hate that i have such a terrible memory, but am thankful that i remembered)
so i reminded her that she needed to pick up the poop, which she procrastinated on, and was outside for OVER AN HOUR.... crying, louder and louder because there were "weird bugs" everywhere.
(weird bugs= 4 flies, a bumble bee, 7 ants, 2 pincher bugs, and a partridge in a peartree.)
she was SO upset....
not because of the bugs, but because she had to pick up dog poop.
i love the girl and boy, but i could have very well thrown them over into my neighbor's yard today.... and well, lewie could have spent the last week there without me minding one bit.
as tired as i am today, and as grumpy as i feel, i am actually looking forward to going to work.
staying with a screaming child becomes exhausting when you do it every. single. day.
i actually want to go in early today....
i'd even work for free....