things i don't understand. pt 1

gift receipts....

so this is one thing i don't get....

"would you like a gift receipt with this purchase today?"

when they should really ask....

"even though you are paying cash for this, would you like a slip that will tell the person how much you spent anyway, and only allow them to exchange this item for something else in THIS STORE ONLY.... even if they don't like it and they don't find anything else in this store that they like?"

you're better off asking for a duplicate copy of the receipt.... and slipping THAT into the envelope of the card you got for them....

you did get them a card, right?

the world in silence.

speaking,

in silence.

to the world all around.

weeping,

in silence,

for life carries no sound.

eyes wide closed,

with your fingers in your ears,

to you, it feels like minutes.

to me, it feels like years....

i love my husband more than toy story bedding.

so where can i start with all of this?

or where can i continue....

i left off my last entry with my feelings of knowing a gentleman was going to be losing his battle to cancer within days....

he lost his battle on saturday afternoon.

he was so young....

i didn't know him personally, but i watched the lives he touched.

i listened to his words spoken....

i watched him fight a good fight....

and then i watched everyone's grief when he passed....

you know, i wrote about this just yesterday morning, bright and early.....

just a little food for thought on Facebook....

i watched the outpour of all of these heartfelt messages to him....

why didn't these people come forward with these words before?

where were all these thoughts,

and prayers

and love

and messages BEFORE he passed away....

my main point yesterday was if you are touched by someone and their smile, their laugh, their optimistic attitude....

if you enjoy spending time with someone, or love to kiss them, or get excited when they call....

if you are touched by someone who is ALIVE AND WELL, TELL THEM, PEOPLE!!!!!!!! Do you notice how people come forth to speak about all these wonderful memories and such AFTER the person is gone??

Do you notice how someone becomes a hero once they are gone? All of these people speak up after the fact.... i don't get it. i mean, i appreciate the thoughts of their actions, but to me, it seems like it's more about the people saying the nice things, once the person's already gone, than it is about the person who is gone.... when you tell the person who is ALIVE how wonderful they are, they can share in the joy that you are feeling.... am i wrong? they can KNOW the lives they touch.... or how contagious their laughter and smiles are.... wouldn't you agree?

i know many people have different beliefs as to what happens to people.

some people believe that once you're dead,

you're just gone.

there is not life after.

there is no communication.

no heaven.

there is nothing else that happens, but that you are buried....

there is no hell.

no pearly gates,

no God waiting for you.

that's it.

others believe that there is life after death.

there's a heaven.

a God waiting.

a hell waiting.

most people want to believe that there loved one has gone to heaven once they have passed.

and although there are many people i have known, who have not had any "religious beliefs" at all, when they lose a loved one, or someone else does, i notice they are praying all of a sudden....

i notice their loved one has "Gone to heaven," or that "heaven has another wonderful angel now."

i'm not quite sure i fully understand people's beliefs, or lack thereof, or if it's just "hope" and "weakness" that leads them to pray... that leads them to say such things as "i'm praying for you" and such.... anyway.... regardless of people's beliefs, i think it shows that in moments of weakness, and fear and sorrow, many of us turn to a higher power to somehow magically "fix" what is going on.... i remember praying as a little girl, when i was little. i used to just pray that bad things would go right, but never prayed to thank God for the wonderful things I was given....

In my last post, i went on and on about how in love with my husband i was.... and how i adore even the smallest (most annoying) things he does.... how empty my entire life would be without him....

i give thanks for him every morning I wake up, and he is still breathing... i give thanks again around 6 am, when i receive his text or call that he's made it to work safely.... i give thanks again when we go to sleep at night, because he's made it home safe and sound and i get to fall asleep next to him again.... how wonderful that is!!!!

_____________________

so remember that "we all take life for granted" that i was talking about in my last post?

i totally did something that i feel terribly guilty about....

terribly guilty, because i am still slighlty upset about it, but i don't know who to be upset with, therefore, i sit back with squinted eyes feeling upset at everyone.... =(

i know, shame on me, right?

and you'll ask over what, and i'll tell you and then you'll all laugh and say "REALLY ashley?!"

and i'll say, "ummm, no? i was just kidding. i'm not really mad about it."

i'm cheap.

sometimes, when it comes to money, i'm cheap.

but i'm sentimental as all heck!

everything that someone gives to me, holds such great meaning (remember? i would be a hoarder if jason hadn't come into my life)

so saturday was lewie's birthday party, and he received ALL kinds of different gifts....

most of them toys to help him to walk.... he stands up and, as long as he's holding onto something, he'll take off, BUT he won't walk by himself....

we got the hint.

everyone was telling us Lewie's behind. ;)

anyway,

my younger sister bought lewie toy story bedding.....

wrapped up in toy story wrapping paper....

we had the party at jason's dad's and stepmom's house, and it was mostly family there....

everything came in huge boxes and there was just one big bag that someone had given us a gift in.

anyway, the night goes on, and it's time to load the truck and go home.

i don't know who loaded the truck, and at this point i don't really care.... (although my curiosity still wants to know)....

buuuut, the bedding is missing.

every.thing.else. is here.... except the bedding....

we searched high and low for it.

checked the car.

the garage.

the entire house....

called them to check their house....

it's not there.

they checked everywhere, and the trash.

they couldn't even find the wrapping paper it was wrapped in.

now there were 2 thoughts that initially went through my mind....

1. maybe we didn't open the bedding there?? maybe i just THOUGHT we opened it there, and we really didn't!!!!

nope. not the case.... i'm pretty sure THAT'S the toy story bedding right below taylor in the picture.... you see the clear bag that says TOY STORY on it.... in the bedding bag?? there is picture proof that the bedding DID exist!!!!

and yes, it was Lewie's birthday, not Taylor's, however, with all of Lewie's toys that were purchased, his dad and stepmom were thoughtful and got her one to open too so she wouldn't feel left out. how sweet, because i wouldn't think of something like that. i'd give her a hard time and say, "dude, your birthday is coming up in a few months. get over it."

then i thought, okay, well SINCE the bedding DID exist, then maybe it flew out of the car.... or someone stole it from our car.... well, truck.

(because if it was put in the back of the truck, then it COULD have flown OUT of the truck, OR when we stopped for PANDA EXPRESS on our way HOME, someone COULD have STOLEN it out of the BACK OF OUR TRUCK!!!!!!!) which is why i NEVER PUT STUFF IN THE BACK OF THE TRUCK THAT CAN FLY OUT OR BE STOLEN!!!! i'm crazy about this!!!!! jason ALWAYS says it will be okay....

anyway, i didn't load the truck, so honestly i can't tell you where the bedding was loaded. jason says that the bag was put INSIDE the truck, which only leaves one other explanation for the missing bedding.... a ghost stole it.

so i was upset with jason all day yesterday over this bedding.

1. because if he DID put it in the back of the truck and it flew out, I TOLD YOU SO!

2. if someone stole it out of the back of the truck, I TOLD YOU SO!!!!

or

3. if a ghost stole it, I TOLD YOU THERE ARE SUCH THINGS AS GHOSTS! I TOLD YOU SO!!!!

so whatever happened to the bedding, I TOLD YOU SO!!!!!

not only was it one of the most expensive gifts we had, it was from my younger sister who doesn't have a whole lot of money to spend.... here i go with my dang sentimental-ness....

jason tried sooo hard to get me to get over the missing bedding.

"we'll go buy new bedding." he said. "then lewie will have the bedding you wanted him to have, and the only thing that is really missing is the 40 bucks."

it sounded good, but not good enough at the time.

i was still upset.

he said a bunch more, that all likely sounded good to him, but i was still upset....

how does bedding just DISAPPEAR!?!?

then i started thinking, "if i loaded the truck myself, i would know where the bedding was put. i would know where it went missing, and probably at what time." because i'm weird like that....

this took me back to my super controlling ways of it just being taylor and i, and i was upset....

and no matter how hard i tried talking myself out of it, nothing was working,

until this....

"what if something were to happen to him RIGHT NOW?! how HORRIBLE would i feel for bickering about toy story bedding that would just cost us 4o bucks.... (well actually 80 if you count the 40 that was already spent on it)...."

the answer: i'd feel horrible. so i sent him a text message and said, "i'd choose you over 40 dollar toy story bedding anyday honey."

his response: "you wouldn't have said that an hour ago."

my response: "nevermind."

lol. the bottom line is, that no matter how major things seem, remember if it isn't life or death, chances are it's petty.... (unless it has to do with toy story bedding, then it's major)....

i love my husband more than toy story bedding.

i love my husband more than toy story bedding.

i love my husband more than toy story bedding.....

....i'm ALMOST convinced it's petty..... ;)

i. hate. cancer.

I. Hate. Cancer. (and every other illness out there)

I hate watching it tear people's lives apart and yet together all at the same time.

I hate that every single one of us says that we live each day like it's our last, but we don't....

We still take our lives for granted....

I hate that I know what it feels like to be at someone's side when they pass away....

I hate that i know that feeling, but that i am thankful for knowing it....

i am thankful for knowing that feeling, because not many people get to experience being "THE ONE" at someone's dying side.... not even someone's dying side, but someone's ill side....

I am grateful for the experiences I have shared with individuals who have given me an amazing way of seeing life....

a way that forever changes the way i see life....

i mean, the ENTIRE outlook....

even IIII am guilty of taking the small things for granted.

it is hard not to.

i wake up every morning next to jason.

i can text him anytime i want.

i can call him anytime i want.

i even give him a hard sometimes if he doesn't call me right back.

but none of that is life-threatening....

how ENTIRELY different my WHOLE world would be if i couldn't just pick up my phone to call him whenever i wanted....

how ENTIRELY different my WHOLE world would be if i rolled over in the morning, and he wasn't there.... or if i reached over to rub my fingers through his hair and he wasn't there....

how EMPTY my heart would feel, if 6 pm rolled around, and he didn't pull into the driveway....

or saturday came around, and i didn't have his work pants pockets to check for money,

or his work shirts for pens,

right before washing them.....

or if every morning, when i woke up, his pajamas weren't thrown about the room for me to pick up, fold and put away....

how sad i would feel, if the lingering scent of his shaving cream wasn't in the bathroom sink when i brushed my teeth....

how much i would cry, if his black hat sat on the shelf in the closet, unworn.....

how much i know i would give anything to have his whiskerss all over the countertop long after he's gone for work.... like they are now....

you know, there are mornings when he rolls over and wraps his arms around me and my eyes fill with tears....

because his whiskery face tickles the middle of my upper back, and his right arm wraps over my right arm, and holds onto my left as he snuggles me just about as tight as he can.... and i think about the rhythm of his breathing....

i take in the way his arms wrap me tight....

the way his hands feel....

his arms....

i can't imagine my world without him....

and yet there are so many people who lose their loved ones every single day....

i don't experience loss every single day.....

but when i do, it touches my heart in a way that only i can see....

for they are MY feelings....

and they live inside me.....

however, do you know what i would give to stand on a stage.... with a microphone....

kind of like Forrest Gump did in his movie.... in front of everyone talking about Vietnam.... (only i'd want my microphone to not be ripped out of the speaker)....

i'd want to stand in front of that many people.... multiple times....

and tell them about what it's like to be on an oncology floor.

i want to tell them all the things that everyone told me when they knew they were dying....

they all said the same things, but they all said them so differently....

the couples who were married for many decades....

they all said the same things.....

about the way they loved each other....

they were each other's best friends....

family came before anything else did....

they couldn't imagine anyone else at their side other than that person....

that coworkers didn't matter.

friends helped, but they weren't nearly as great as their loved ones.....

they all said to let the petty stuff go....

and that if you weren't dying, chances are, it was petty....

always let the other one think they're right....

never go to bed angry....

always kiss good night.

and good morning.....

today my heart was heavy,

because although this man, i did not know, was dying,

he was still dying.....

and he is young....

and only married for 2 short months, but together for so many years....

he has fought an incredibly long and hard battle with cancer,

and i know the pain that their family is about to feel....

so when someone asks me time and time again, "why did you choose oncology?"....

this is exactly why....

because there is so much more to learn from these people than anyone else will ever get to see....

because one day, i dream of standing before tons and tons of people and sharing these messages with them....

touching their hearts in a way that someone has touched mine....

it is so much easier said than done, but unless you're going to go work directly with these people, take my word for it....

i chose oncology because of the people who fight like hell to survive.....

for the ones who can't change what they were handed,

but they accept it....

with positive attitudes, and do everything they can to stay alive....

so that they can continue loving.....

i chose oncology because there is so much more to life than my own problems and hang ups....

i chose oncology because if i wasn't there....

who else would take my place?

dinner and zoo.... for lew....

"Lewie!! you're going to be ONE tomorrow," I said to him while changing his diaper before we went into the restaurant for dinner on the eve of his birthday.

he couldn't believe it!!!!

so on we went with our dinner....

Daddy wanted to take our picture. he took SOOO long taking our picture that lewie actually CLOSED his eyes and then opened them again, and thankfully we caught him with his eyes open! =)

i can't even begin to tell you how much food he ate that night!!!! seriously. more than taylor, and probably almost as much as jason.... he burped SUPER loud, and then about a minute later, he tooted.... on his hard plastic booster seat.... which was LOUD.... loud enough for people to hear.... and there WERE people behind us when he tooted. we all couldn't stop laughing.... he cracks us up.

so we woke up on Lewie's bday and decided to go to the zoo. Daddy took off of work and off to the zoo we went. =)

such a cool little bench!

and then we ran into these very scary bugs!!!!
we walked up these trails/hills and got VERY tired, so jason and i decided to stop and rest for a little bit.
so taylor and lewie went to go play....
after our nap, we walked on and found the elephants!!!!

Lewie absolutely LOVED the elephants!!! he was waving and laughing and scrunching his little nose.... it was awesome!
hiiii elephants!!!!

taylor decided to go walk with the elephants.... i wanted her to hide behind the back leg, because it just looked more real, but didn't realize that the elephant statue was anatomically correct.... taylor whispered, "ummm, mom.... its private parts are right there." soooo she posed on the front leg.... much better. =)

i'm pretty sure this guy was trying to find a way to get out so he could attack and eat me after i took about 17 pictures of him pacing back and forth....

then i saw this girl, wearing this dress.... that looked just like this guy.... and she sat on a vibrating zebra chair that was massaging her and her feet.... and there were people taking pictures of her.... and it was just WEIRD!!!! (i totally pictured copyboy taking pictures of her)

these guys were so skinny.... looked so cool. bet they could run SUPER fast if they were out in the REAL open world....

and then i really wanted this super "cool" picture of jason and taylor and this guy.... jason was SUCH a good sport and got under there with a whole bunch of people standing around.... he's such a good daddy....

taylor then took us on a helicopter ride, over ice.

and we saw this sweeet little guy hugging his white cone.... soooo cute!!!!

taylor decided to get her face painted.... with 2 swans.... love her.

then she decided to go climb trees again.
he was beary hungry.... just like our entire family.... we're the kings... we like to eat!
my pretty girl.
posing away.
and posing some more.
taylor and i ran up that little hill there and were playing tag.... we were running circles around jason, who was probably getting annoyed.... we were laughing sooo hard and we were so out of breath!
i heard that male peacocks only spread their feathers when they wanna mate or fight.... either me taking his picture really turned him on, or pissed him off....
lewie tapped out....
so long San Diego Zoo....
we had so much fun....

Giving birth to a beast.... follow up: one year later.

Here I was.... last year, 7 weeks before I was due.... to give birth to a beast....

the story about his arrival "Lights, catheter, ACTION!!!!" was so much different than Taylor's....

.... and here he was, just 3 weeks later (after the picture above), July 20th, 2009.... on my chest.... screaming....

and it never stopped.... he screamed for the next year straight....

taylor said, "mom, he's just the most beautiful thing i've ever seen!!!!"

we both cried....

and here we are, one year later....

Happy birthday, big boy.... one whole year.... we made it ONE WHOLE YEAR with you!!!! you have shown me more patience (and impatience) than I've ever known I've had.... but you sure light up our lives.... you sure make it fun.... and busy.... and.... well.... busy.... i love you SO much!

stumped.

(jason's work boot insoles)

i'm pretty sure i found out why jason's knees bother him all the time....

i mean, i can't say for sure, but i'm just taking a wild guess....

my.grain.

I have a horrible migraine.... It hurts so much so that I'm contemplating when the "moment" will come when I'll throw the blankets across the bed, dramtically uncovering jason (who is sleeping in his underwear.... Don't be jealous). I'm afraid that I'll be snuggling with the toilet rather than my husband tonight....
Which brings be to the porcelain God or Goddess....

You know that feeling when you KNOW you're going to throw up, but you just haven't reached it yet.... The point when your mouth starts salvating (is that even a word, or the correct spelling?) Where your mouth is just watering profusely, because the vomit is like slowly working its way from the stomach acid churning in your stomach... It's like pressing the rewind button on your peristalsis.... It's like throwing your esophagus into reverse, and your esophageal sphincter is just waiting for the acid (and whatever else is leftover in there....) In my case, some peppermint white mocha frapp, 3 quarters of a steak taco from La Salsa, some double brownie madness chunks, lots of ice water and about 76 mg of imitrex (I bit it unevenly).... All of it is just waiting and fighting to make its grand entrance into the toilet.... And just when you hit that point where you KNOW you'll feel better once you hurl, you find yourself hopelessly draped over the toilet seat like a dryer sheet stuck in your pant leg. You're wrapped around the toilet seat, staring into your dog's waterbowl (not your dog? Oh.... Mine either.) Do you ever do that thing where you dry heave and think, "oh here it comes!!!!" And then you stop.

And then it's like, "ohhhh this one is it!!!" *dry heave* and still, nothing....

Or am I the only one who, once I am over the toilet, just wants to puke and start feeling better already, so you start imagining all the butts that sit on the seat.... And then what they do while they're sitting there.... Farting.... Into the toilet water that your face is now so close, you could almost drink it.... Or pooping out 2 day old pot roast and rotten milk. Well, it wasn't rotten when they drank it, but now it's rotten.... And full corn kernels.... Or ice cream.... Or 16 beers.... Ew.... Do you ever think that people poop right after they've peed in there and it MIGHT have splashed up onto the seat that your face is now touching?

No?? Yeah I don't either.... I was just wondering if there were any weird, sick people out there....

Glad I'm not weird or disgusting....

bad day.

okay, so i don't like to REALLY complain.

most of the time i can joke myself out of a bad mood and/or day, but today.

today i am just grumpy.

and i don't need the pity, i just needed to vent.

i went to sleep with an upset stomach last night.

likely caused by the CHOCOLATE that i INSISTED on eating....

because staring chocolate in the face, and weighing out the option of possibly an upset stomach or nightmares.... chocolate totally won.

then as i'm trying to fall asleep.

i can't.

so i'm squinting at my phone, reading facebook status updates because that usually makes me want to go to sleep.....

until i read something about the grim sleeper finally being arrested after 20+ years and 11 murders later.... he lived close to a few of my friends.

WEIRD!

i didn't know who the "grim sleeper" was, so i googled him.

bad idea.

then i really couldn't go to sleep.

KNOWING that i had eaten chocolate and that USUALLY everytime i eat chocolate i get nightmares, now i was just doomed...

and then you know what happened?

i went to sleep with my glasses on.

i didn't want to take them off, because then i couldn't see if some grim sleeper came walking into my room in the middle of the night....

so i slept with my glasses on, scared. lol. it wouldn't have been so bad if jason didn't fall asleep before me, but he totally does....

and then i had a nightmare, that likely only lasted about 12 seconds, but it felt like it was going on for 2 days....

i dreamt, no, nightmared, that i was in school.... and that some guy had broken into my house (which was somehow attached to my school that i was in) i know it doesn't make sense, but this is just how dreams/nightmares work out. so i was in my bedroom/school, and this guy breaks in and tells me he is going to kill me. and this is right after jason left our bedroom/school to go somewhere and told me i would be safe. and all i could think about was how horribly guilty he was going to feel once this guy killed me and he came back to find me dead.

this guy started pushing down on my throat and i just remember thinking, "just close your eyes.... hopefully he'll stop." then next thing i know (in my dream), i'm lying outside on the lawn.... and the guy has locked himself inside the school and there is a swat team surrounding the school and everyone has guns.... except for me.... and there is a helicopter flying around the school really low.... and the "swat" guys looked like they could be the "bad guys" and i thought i was going to get shot.... do you know how scary that feels when you're sleeping? like you are totally going to get shot at any moment, and you don't know who's going to shoot you?

so i was lying there in the grass, face down, and i told myself again, "just close your eyes and that way if someone shoots you, you won't even know it's coming." it was SUCH an awful feeling!!!! but i couldn't wake myself up.

so i woke up with a stomach ache (from the night before)

and felt all out of sorts from the dream/nightmare....

lewie is being an absolute animal and has been for the past week getting 6 new teeth in, all at once, and so, that hasn't been pleasant for me anyone.

it wouldn't be so bad if he just kinda whimpered or whatever, but he is SOOOOO LOUD, it makes MEEEE want to scream louder than HE does.... and i'm not even breaking teeth, but feel like i SHOULD BE!

anyway.... so i go get starbucks before my migraine kicks in, and while i'm slowly backing into a parking spot (yes backing in, because the parking lot is set up SO stupidly), i get lost in remembering a part of my nightmare and bump into the post!!!! that is the FIRST time i have bumped into ANYTHING in my truck! GREAT! i didn't even want to get out and look. i was scared about what it would look like.

but i got out and looked anyway....

and looked harder....

and closer....

and there really wasn't anything.

PHEWF!

so i got starbucks and then headed over to get my oil changed.

quick and easy and painless, i thought....

until they didn't have any other customers, so of course they're going to "recommend" that i need a whole new, oh, EVERYTHING.... dude, my truck is still new....

"why don't you just write down all of your recommendations and i'll have my husband look over that list. i don't want to deal with any of that right now. i just want my oil changed," i said. now i know everyone's business is slow with the economy and everything, and everyone's just trying to make an extra buck here and there (and all the time).... BUT i am also trying to SAVE a buck (or $700) and with all of their recommendations, and lewie's crying and taylor's little attitude, because she didn't get a starbucks drink, i was on the verge of telling them where they could shove my dirty air filter.

.... but i didn't.

my eyes just filled with tears, because when i get mad, that's what happens.

it's stupid, i know.

BUT that is the EASIEST i have EVER gotten out of any car place before.

then i go back to the mall by our house to go birthday present shopping for friend's children whose birthday parties are this weekend.... again....

i just went shopping yesterday but didn't find everything i needed. so back we went.

lewie suddenly thinks he's spiderman and can twist and climb until he is ALMOST out of his stroller and that's having his STRAPPED IN TIGHTLY! he's NUTS i tell you!

get the present and come home.

i KNOW i must produce results soon or i'm going to sit around feeling terribly grumpy for the rest of the day....

so i edged the lawn.

and then mowed it.

and then started pulling weeds.

and then ALMOST picked up a dog terd, when i remembered i was supposed to remind taylor that she needed to pick up the dog poop today....

(i hate that i have such a terrible memory, but am thankful that i remembered)

so i reminded her that she needed to pick up the poop, which she procrastinated on, and was outside for OVER AN HOUR.... crying, louder and louder because there were "weird bugs" everywhere.

(weird bugs= 4 flies, a bumble bee, 7 ants, 2 pincher bugs, and a partridge in a peartree.)

she was SO upset....

not because of the bugs, but because she had to pick up dog poop.

i love the girl and boy, but i could have very well thrown them over into my neighbor's yard today.... and well, lewie could have spent the last week there without me minding one bit.

as tired as i am today, and as grumpy as i feel, i am actually looking forward to going to work.

staying with a screaming child becomes exhausting when you do it every. single. day.

i actually want to go in early today....

i'd even work for free....

Birthday Weekend pt.1 Sushi Fest.

We arrived at the sushi place. I was hungry and had fully starved myself up to this point.

All of the cells in my body were shriveled up and starving at this point.

In fact, I'm pretty sure that half of them were dead.

(no Jason's not expecting. it's just something I do everytime we go to take a picture, weird huh?)
(the studman, with his hat backwards, ready to do some damage.... we were ready.... or so i thought.... and there's T. She's always ready to eat. and there's Buymebarbies!!)

(even Lewie was ready.... he unbuttoned his top button, thinking he'd let some of the chest hairs flow around in the wind like lots of the foreign men do, until he realized he didn't have any chest hairs, his gold chain broke, and he wasn't really foreign.)
There's poppa (Pat) advertising for the raw octopus legs (or something like that), and my younger sister (YS) and her marc anthony look alike.
(I'm pretty sure this was taken before I devoured 6 rolls to myself. i told you guys.... i wasn't messing around.... I WANTED SUSHI!!!!!!)
(buymebarbies and poppa tillett) love them!
my stud man and i. (not a soul in this world i could love more!!!!)
Pat and i. (we even joked about taking a picture for our blogs!!) seeeee!!! we think about you guys even when we are out to dinner!!!!
seriously, i hope my heart skips beats like this forever, because i am constantly falling in love with him over and over and over again.... look at how handsome he is!!! (happy birthday to me!!!! hubba hubba!!!)
taylor and mommy!! (and marc anthony's floating hand)
just like on jason's birthday, when they shut all of the lights off and sang, they did the same for mine. honestly, i just thought the power went out.... i was looking all around and the entire restaurant began singing!!!! so cool!!! (until the guy almost lit my hair on fire.... um, hello! that BIG SEXY hairspray is FLAMMABLE!!!!!)
Lewie started screaming as everyone sang and cheered.... so i made this face (above) to try to calm him down.... i'm pretty sure he just screamed louder.... and this picture was taken with our *old* camera (the flash is too bright) and therefore you cannot see the wonderful dessert plate that was made up.... (notice the wine glass is full. no time for wine; time for SUSHI!!!)
my beautiful mother.... it's the japanese genes that carry such beauty.....
oh wait, did i say something about beauty? i meant BOOOOOOTY!
THIS is what overeating will do to you!!!! i seriously only drank water to keep enough room for the sushi.... and by the looks on our faces, we were the only 2 who reached this point of craziness, and we were the only 2 who ordered enough to feed a starving family.... so, it HAD to be the sushi!!!! (our left eyes have a mind of their own)

I hope everyone has as joyous of a week, as i did weekend!!! =)

Thank you for all the "Happy Birthdays"!!!! Ya'll are wonderful!!!!

never trust a man in diapers who tells you he's okay to drive....

i knew we should have called a cab when he started drinking.... milk.

"MOM! c'mon!!! i'll drive you anywhere you wanna go!!!!" he said.... look at that smile!! how could i resist!
"get in the car, paparazzi," he grumbled under his milk breath.

"Lewie!!!! Keep your eyes on the road!!!!" I squealed.

"WATCH OUT FOR THE PUUPPPPPYYY!!!!!"

luckily, he missed the pup, but hit the trashcans instead.

that's what driving under the influence of milk will do to ya!

thankfully no one was harmed.....

except the poor trashcans....

never trust a man in diapers....

no matter HOW cute he is. ;)