Monday, December 14, 2009

T.K.


There's something about her.... 
something about her that i can't explain.
She didn't ask to be here.
but i brought her here anyway....
after 8 agonizing months of vomiting and an evergrowing belly, she was here.
and it's been a little over 7 years since that day....
and she is here....
long brown hair.
brown eyes.
big, thick, bushy eyebrows.
and eyelashes that go on for days.
she has more gums than she does teeth, but a gorgeous smile none the less....
when her smile is genuine, it's one that'll warm your heart....
there's something about her.
i can't pinpoint exactly what it is....
maybe it's her being at my side through all of my times....
my trying ones.
my bad ones.
and my good ones.
she's still here.

maybe it's her unconditional love and attentiveness that no 7 year old child should even have to know.
the nights we would lie in bed, she would just rub my arm.... 
no words....
because somehow she sensed my doubt that everything would be okay.
she'd tell me it would be....
and somehow, in the whisper of her tiny little voice.... i knew it would be....
there's something about her, that nobody else has....
there's that unconditional love, that an innocent child holds....
that no matter how bad your day is, or how snippy you are, 
your apology is always accepted immediately....
you can wipe away her tears, hug her, kiss her, tell her you love her, and she'll never turn you away.
there's this warmth about this girl, that i can't even begin to explain....
i can try, but i'd fail every single time....
there's this understanding about her that she carries that all is to be forgiven.... 
that a smile is always welcome....
there's this warmth about her hug.... 
she longs to be the most important thing in your life....
i feel like i can't ever live up to making up the mistakes i've made in my past....
for all the wrong people i've ever brought into her life.....
i look at her and feel so guilty for not showing her, sooner, what a wonderful love is made of....
i know she is still so young, but so wise.... so intelligent beyond her years....
she gets these awards...
for an excellence in reading....
for being a wonderful writer....
and for a caring attitude....
it all makes me smile.
in fact, it makes me cry....
tears of joy....
but i wonder, is it even me to credit for her being the wonderful girl that she is?
i wonder where all her excellence comes from, and i welcome it none the less....
i just look at this girl...
this wonderful girl.
i thank God she is mine....
there's something about her....
i can't explain what it does to me.....
it gives me all the power to keep going,
because sometimes nothing in the world seems to push me forward,
but she.... 
she does....
i'm EVER so thankful.
i'm EVER so blessed.
that she is mine.

3 comments:

Pat Tillett said...

That's my pumpkin head...

She was so lucky to have her two aunts, her mom, her grandmother, and her great grandmother, all living in the same house with her. They say it takes a village to raise a child... In her case I think she has some of all of us in her personality. She probably got a lot of her sarcasim from me (sorry). But she's so good at it, and uses it in a very humerous way. I think we all love her as if she our own...

Another beautiful post Ash!

Jenni Newman said...

She's the reason why I was okay with having a girl. I remember going to TGIF one late night she couldn't be more then 3 years old and she just sat there coloring listening to us gabber on and on. She amazed me when she asked permission to say something, and only asked for more water! I hope Tiki rubs a little of her sweetness off on Heidi!

Great post Ash! You got me teared up at work, now everyone knows I'm not working!

buymebarbies said...

You can never post anything closer to the truth. Taylor, that girl is a very special girl. She has been since the day she was born, we all knew it. She's a very lucky girl to have had so many people around to love and care for her. Thanks Ash!!!