so i did something really stupid and thought i was being helpful and the situation just blew WAY out of proportion and then i went on trying to explain what my original intention was.... and that i was really in no way, shape or form trying to stir up any kind of drama, and it really just took me to this place of.... well, middle school or high school.... all over again.... and i immediately thought of jason.... and how if i tried to explain this situation to him, what he would say to me.... he would tell me that i should be minding my own business and not talking to anyone anyway.... it's hard for me! that's something i've always done!!! i've ALWAYS tried to help where i can.... and a lot of times it's successful, but a lot of times, i just become way more emotionally invested than i probably should be and my emotions end up getting the best of me.... i take on people's things like they're my own, and what does it get me? well it gets ME a lot more emotions and it gets my family.... well, probably a lot grumpier mom, wife, sister, daughter, etc.
whatever. i wish i could kick this stupid co-dependent thing.... i wish i could draw the line of where helpful becomes hurtful... or where helpful becomes "none of my business." i guess being married to someone as, i don't want to call him "anti-social" because given the proper or comfortable setting, he's an amazingly funny and wonderful person to be around.... but, he's not the most social person in the world.... he doesn't think it's anyone's responsibility to fix anyone else's problems, except themselves.... hmmm... where do we meet in the middle on this one.... i don't know....
i still like to help, but not when i end up in situations like today. oh well. i'll call this "help," a loss and move on....
maybe i should go clean the house or something....
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