on the burgundy, canvas bench in the BGS hall, with my back up against the wall, watching my tall green straw mix circles in my clear starbucks cup....
come on, ice.
melt, would ya?
give me just a few last sips before i go into the classroom....
my stomach was turning.
i hadn't felt well today, but had to be there.
i felt like a school girl all over. at first there were just a few of us, but then more and more and more came.
i don't know why everyone asked ME what class this was....
did i look that friendly?
because i know i certainly didn't look like the professor for that course....
or did i?
i didn't care too much about my appearance today.
maybe i should have.
instead, those last few extra minutes of sleep seemed far more important than getting up to shower, blowdry and flat iron my hair....
i had a pounding headache and a turning stomach....
please don't let this be a migraine.
no, not today....
so here, i sat.
with my greasy side-swooped bangs....
sipping on my starbucks, which by the way was a regular mocha today as they'd run out of white mocha.
it was far more rich and chocolately than my tastebuds cared for today.
yet, who am i fooling?
i somehow managed to finish the entire drink just before the very last person walked in to the classroom.
there were about 50 of us who showed up today for orientation.
thankfully it was a saturday, and thankfully i parked RIGHT outside the building and only had to be there for an hour.
the professor was a middle-aged man, in jeans and a brown long sleeved shirt.
he had on brown semi casual shoes and a baseball cap.
his hair, that showed from underneath his cap, was white.
he had a gold wedding band on, and kept putting his hands in his pockets as he walked back and forth across the front of the room.
he was a nice enough guy.
talked about the class, and how he enjoyed teaching it.
he showed us a few examples of our "term project" which would be worth 200 points out of a total of 1000 for the semester.
he asked how many of us had taken online courses here before.
then he asked how many of us had printed the syllabus as he had asked us to do before coming to class....
initially i raised my arm (and hand) pretty high, and kinda looked around, as did everyone else....
and apparently i was the only one who got the "print-your-syllabus-and-keys-to-success-notes-and-bring-them-to-class" memo.
not a single person (besides myself) raised their hand.
he looked at me and smiled, only now my hand was about half as high as it was before.
i didn't want to seem overly eager to be in this class, even if i really kind of was....
and it's so funny, how automatically, everyone begins with the excuses "oh i was just on it the day before yesterday and there wasn't anything there." another person yells out, "i've been going on everyday and haven't seen anything." another person says "the website was down for maintenance."
i felt like "really people? really? you don't need to give HIM excuses, you should just feel stupid. you're lazy and irresponsible. get over it."
i don't get it.
college is supposed to be classes for pleasure, or working towards a goal.
your schedule is "self-induced" and you're there because you want to be and/or you choose to be, not because you are forced. and if you ARE forced, you ought to rethink why you're there and CHANGE the reason that you are there.
people just amaze me.
you only hurt yourself when you don't do your work.... lame. but whatever.
then our professor asks, "who bought the book and study guide already?"
this time i was a little more cautious about how fast and high i threw my arm up in the air, but i did halfway again.... and again, i was the only one who had purchased the textbooks....
seriously?! am i the only one who has no life and made time to get this stuff ahead of time? holy cow.
or maybe i'm the nerd.
either way, i felt like i'd started out on the right foot.
this class is going to be a lot more difficult and time consuming than i had originally expected it to be, but i guess that's what i need to gain the confidence (and degree) that i'd like.
the end of the orientation really couldn't come quick enough.
i could feel my face warming with each passing minute....
my mouth was watering and i felt like i was going to hurl.
he excused the class and i walked, as fast as my crippled butt could, to the elevator.
fortunately, there was only one other person getting on the elevator, right before a 2nd person hurried up and jumped on.
the doors were allllllmost shut and these 2 dingy blonde girls said in the most "valley girl" voice ever, "oooohhh, we were totally...." and that was all i heard right before the doors shut....
and then opened riiiiight back up.
did you HAVE to hurry up and hit the down button??
can't you see i'm on the verge of vomiting here?
sausage and pepperoni pizza.... HELLO!!
i had a guy standing next to me who smelled strongly of aftershave,
and then those two girls and their shampoo and perfume joined the ride, along with the other guy who smelled like he had partied all night and came directly to class.
the over-aftershave-splashed on guy pulls out his "iphone" (ooo cool guy) and tries to make a joke with the dingbats who jumped on board last minute.
he says "whoa! how old are these elevators? i thought this was a new building."
the girls laugh....
i, on the other hand, had a quick vision of how everyone might react if i covered my mouth and threw up right there.... in the elevator.... what if i splashed "cool guys" shoes.... or dingbats bare toes (she was wearing flipflops).... would they get mad? would they feel bad? would they at least stop talking and trying to be funny?
the doors opened, and FINALLY i was off of the elevator and a few seconds later, I was in my truck again.
of all the excitement I'd initially felt in the morning, i couldn't help but think, afterwards, how thankful i was to be taking these courses.... online.