I can remember the exact seat I was sitting in when I knew we needed to move.... Mom, half-joking, asks me if I remember moving up to the edge of my seat and grabbing my backpack and purse and saying, "I'm going. We need to go now. Mom, we need to go there now." I do remember that.... I think that's part of having an empathetic and A.D.D. heart (and mind).... everything feels equally important.... but this.... THIS really did feel like if we didn't act damn near immediately, that something more horrible was going to happen....
Mom asked what I thought we should or could do, and I didn't know.... In fact, I really had no idea.... We were waiting to get the call from the doctor regarding Poppa's surgery and how it turned out.... I sat on the edge of my seat, anxiety twice as high now....
Mom and I were able to go up to Poppa's room and Jason had called me shortly after, letting me know he was on his way to the hospital with the kids. "Let's get dinner," he'd said....
I couldn't think about food. I couldn't think about anything but going to Grammy's and Friend's apartment.... Some time passed. Jason and the kids came upstairs to see Poppa and we figured we'd better get out of there for the night.... We left the hospital and headed to a small shopping center with a bunch of small places to eat.... I honestly can't even remember where we picked, but somewhere quick and easy... We sat down, inside, to eat.... I'm pretty sure I let Lewie play on my phone to distract him and Taylor had a hint about what was going on.... I'd told Jason what was going on and how I felt like "we" needed to do something. He asked what I thought we needed to do, and I still hadn't any idea, just that "we" (pretty generalized), needed to do something.... aaaaaaand, he actually agreed.... He said, "It sounds like all signs are pointing in that direction."
....
We drove home in our separate cars.... Of course, my mind racing at what I could do... what could be done at this point? ....
It was Wednesday night.... tucked the kiddos in and took my contacts out.... I got in bed and plugged my charger in, but who was I kidding? I knew good and well sleeping was not going to happen anytime soon....
I grabbed my phone, my charger, and my water and glasses and came back out into the dark living room. I left the small entry light on and came and sat on the loveseat.... I sat there for some time and played and replayed all of these different ideas and scenarios out in my head.... A million questions ran through my mind.... "What if this woman has been legally added to Friend's lease? What if this woman has had Friend sign crazy documents like an Advanced Health Care Directive or a Durable Power of Attorney? or what if this woman is legally on all of Friend's accounts and if I step in, there will be absolutely NOTHING I can do because this woman has already been "legally" added to everything?" It was scary! I was scared! I had NO idea what part of any of this could or would be true, but I had a feeling that there was a good chance. I'd sat there, imagining rallying some troops together and heading down there the very next morning.... I'd imagined a well, thought-out plan, executing perfectly.... and then a few, short moments later, I'd imagined it all backfiring.... I was so torn....
The clock neared 10-11 p.m. I'd been texting back and forth with my dear cousin.... She was the first one that came to mind when I'd imagined intervening somehow.... We are usually on the same wavelength with a lot of things.... We both have a pretty empathetic heart.... aaaaand, immediately, she was in.... We both knew that all of this wasn't right.... I'd reached out to my sister, because she usually spent quite a bit of time with my grandma, or was, at least in touch with her often. I'd wondered what she knew or what she thought about it all.... She had no idea about any of it, but was just as worked up as both cousin and I.... She agreed she could meet us there the next morning. So we'd agreed to meet the next morning. I'd had some time between dropping the kids off and meeting them at Gram's apartment. Gram didn't even know we were going to be coming.
After dropping off both kiddos, I'd made a quick run by Trader Joe's to pick up flowers and a card to make this visit seem as "genuine" as possible. I didn't want "Caretaker" to know that we were on to her, because IF she happened to be Durable Power of Attorney or was added to Friend's bank account or the lease or anything else and she felt like we were on to her, she might wipe Friend out and bail.... There had to be strategy behind this.... Cousin and sister both knew the plan.... we. were. ready....
Showed up to Grammy's with flowers and a card. She was surprised to see all of us.... Then she wondered why we were there.... That was when I'd told her that we needed to intervene. If we didn't do something, it was only going to get worse. We'd let Grammy in on the plan. We were all 4 going to go down to Friend's apartment with flowers and card..... We would knock and when someone answered, we would act like we were wanting to stop in and visit and see how Friend was doing and tell her that we missed her since we hadn't seen her for a bit, and that we were worried because Grammy had been trying to contact Friend and wasn't able to speak with her....
Grammy was very hesitant.... She was thinking that "Caretaker" was such a nice person.... We could all feel her hesitation, but we insisted.... and she obliged....
Downstairs we went to the 2nd floor....
Sister put her ear to the door. Inside, we could hear television and we could hear "Caretaker" talking to someone on speaker phone, but we couldn't hear specifics.... Looking down the hall, I could see Mr. Maintenance Man standing at the door, looking in at us. It was very apparent, he knew we were there and he was scouting the scene.... I quickly tapped Sister and told her to just knock on the door.... that Mr. Maintenance Man was watching from outside, down the hall. She covered the peek hole and knocked.... "Caretaker" answered the door.... "Awesome!" I thought.... That was one of my fears.... that she might not answer the door.... but she did and there was Friend..... hunched over and walking slowly out of the bedroom, as if coming out to see what was going on.... She didn't look ANYTHING like we'd always seen her.... She usually had her hair colored and fixed up, some make up on, and accessorized with some cute necklace or scarf.... This was not the case.... She looked so frail.... 2" of gray roots, grown out.... her hair lying flat, looking so lifeless.... She was walking hunched over, barely dragging her feet with each step.... This was not the Friend we knew....
"Ohhhh look! You have 4 beautiful women visitors!" Caretaker says, loudly.... still having her phone mate on speaker.... In another language, "Caretaker" must have said that she needed to go or would phone her friend back later, because she ended up hanging up shortly after. "Caretaker" greeted us with such joy and smiles, speaking loudly the entire time...
We all chatted briefly.... "Friend, we brought you flowers and a card and wanted to see how you were doing! We miss you! How are you doing?"
Friend says, "Ohhhh, I'm doing fine.... getting better...."
Her face looked so hopeless.... We knew this wasn't right....
to be continued....
1 comment:
... Dang!
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