her baby joined the marines....

she walked in, in tears....

she couldn't even catch her breath to tell us what she wanted to drink.....

somehow she managed to mumble it out in between her chokes and cries....

i didn't hear it, but amber did.

"don't worry about it. it's on us," amber said.

the tearful woman, went and curled up in the corner....

in the big, comfy leather chair.... just bawling into her hands....

i couldn't help but to wonder what brought her to such tears, but even more, what drove her to starbucks for a drink in the midst of a crying fit....

but the wonder of where her pain stemmed from took over again....

her drink was done.

i couldn't just call it out for her.

and thankfully no one else was in line.

no other drinks to be made.

so i walked her drink to the other side of the counter....

i caught myself softly whistling "indescribable."

funny, the timing on that.

she didn't even know i was coming, until she heard my steps approaching her....

she looked up and her cheeks were red.

her eyes were puffy.

she ran her sleeves across her face.

both sides.

"can i give you a hug?" i asked.

she didn't even hesitate.

she just opened her arms and hugged me.

and i hugged her for a while.

told her that i didn't know what troubled her heart, but that i hoped it went away soon....

"you probably think i'm being a huge baby," she cried.

"nope. if it hurts your heart, you are entitled to cry."

"my 18 year old son just told me he joined the marines," she choked out....

and then she began to cry harder....

"he joined with one of his best friends.... said they joined through this buddy system thing, where they won't be separated.... like it's preschool or something.... he can't defend himself.... he's 120 lbs!!! took a punch in football in high school and broke his jaw in 3 places...."

she went on and on....

forgive me for thinking, (and then saying), "well he'll be able to defend himself after bootcamp."

she said, "marines. they're the first ones in and the last ones out..."

now forgive me for what i'm about to say, because i absolutely know that i know very little about this....

BUT,

taylor's dad was in the marines.

as was her uncle....

and my dad was, and my stepdad was....

and a lot of other people were too.

now i've also known people in the army.... and a friend of a friend who was a navy seal....

taylor's dad was deployed a few years ago.... as was her uncle....

their JOBS decided where they would be and what they would do overseas.... (if i'm not mistaken.... or unless they lied to me)....

one of my very dear friend's husband is in the army.... he has been deployed far more times than any marine i've known.... (i am not, in ANY way, discounting ANY marine).... i guess i was just looking for things to try to ease her pain....

so many thoughts went through my head.... we live here in AMERICA.... where we have FREEDOM, but IT'S NOT FREE.... there are SO many different reasons that people join the military, but they join none-the-less..... and as scared to death as i would be if either one of my children told me they joined the military, i would have to feel proud of them for a decision they've decided to make on their own....

if i've learned ONE thing in my 8 years of parenting, it's that sometimes supporting your child will be the hardest, most difficult thing you'll ever have to do, but their happiness is the ultimate goal.... you cannot tell your child what they need to do and expect that they'll just do it.... do you think i had a line of support behind me when i announced being pregnant at 18?!! ha!

but once MY decision was made to become a mother, the amount of support behind me has gotten me to where i am today.... i didn't think about some of the things that would come along with parenting, but you learn as you go.... i don't know how my initial response will be for all of the things that will come my way as a parent, but it is always so helpful to watch and observe others and how they react and respond with their situations.... think about how YOU'D want to react and store it in a little file in the back of your mind....

needless to say, i'm a sucker for helping anyone who hurts, so you're right, i sat there and hugged her for a good long while until one of her girlfriends arrived....

and she hugged me again before she left....

and this just played in to the whole mess of emotions that have been stirring through my head....

about where i'm supposed to be.

what i'm supposed to be doing.....

doing what i'm good at,

and doing what i love.....

but that's an entirely different blog....

to all of the mothers, fathers, wives, husbands, sisters, brothers, children, grandparents.... to all of those who have sacrificed a family member being home with them, holidays, a good night's sleep.... to those who have given up their sanity, their choice or not, i am grateful.... because without any of those people stepping up to fight for our country, we wouldn't have EVERYTHING we have.... i am grateful. for having my family members, my children, a good night's sleep next to my husband.... for without everyone else's sacrifices, i just might not have those things....