there's a first time for everything.

We have been together for three years now, and haven't been away, not even for a night together (except in Vegas, when we got married) but even then, we had room crashers....

I've been bugging Jason for three years to go somewhere with me.... Nothing was working, so in a desperate attempt, I said, "either go away with me this weekend, or we are getting a divorce."

Hello San Diego. You sure are beautiful!

The view from our room. Believe it or not, it was really nice. There was a guy sitting in the park below, playing his trumpet. Pretty cool. =)
Handsome hubby getting ready to go walk the streets of the gaslamp district that night. =)
My heart was saying, "yes, yes, yes!!!!" my jeans were saying, "no, no, NO!"

I told our waiter that this was our very first night away from the kids in THREE YEARS!!!! I'm not sure who had more to drink, Jason or the chef.... "Co-gratulations to our first night away" (from Jimmy Loves) YUM! We had an awesome artichoke dip, salad, shared a Kobe beef burger and a bottle of wine. They just surprised us with this dessert.
And being the hillbilly pigs that we are.... here was our dessert plate 30 seconds later. ;)
I absolutely HATE self portraits, but I wanted to remember this night for three reasons. 1. I pierced my schnoz. 2. I actually found a hat BIG enough to fit my ginormous head. and 3. it was our FIRST night away from the kiddos since we've been together! =)
Yes, this picture is super blurry, but the stairs across the street were all lit up. There was a couple holding hands and kissing. It was pretty stinkin romantic. These were the stairs at the Convention Center. The next morning, after we got our Starbucks, we walked up those stairs and sat overlooking the bay. It was really nice and the weather was PERFECT!
Typical asian tourist. haha, minus my peace sign and fanny pack. ;) This was on our way back to the hotel from our morning walk.
The hubby's not a big hand holder.... but I still hold his hand. ;)
After our morning walk and coffee, we went up on the roof to the pool.... and drank a few strawberry daiquiris.... at 1030 am.... and sat in the sun.... and the weather was PERFECTLY amazing!!!!!
It was a much needed night away.... Very grateful for this time to reconnect.... what have YOU guys been up to? I need to catch up!

16 days brings wonderful things.

you know.... i just can't help but to think about the beginning of our relationship....

and how we were engaged on day 16....

yes, after 16 days, we decided to get married....

and how i knew the entire world would think we were insane.

i often questioned my sanity as well....

but there are some times in life, when you just follow. your. heart....

when all the "reasons why" may never sound good enough to anyone else....

but they're good enough to you.

there are some things in life that just don't need reason,

for LOVE is reason enough.

16 days, was one of those times....

Jason is definitely one of those things....

those wonderful, WONDERFUL things.... =)

i love my husband more than toy story bedding.

so where can i start with all of this?

or where can i continue....

i left off my last entry with my feelings of knowing a gentleman was going to be losing his battle to cancer within days....

he lost his battle on saturday afternoon.

he was so young....

i didn't know him personally, but i watched the lives he touched.

i listened to his words spoken....

i watched him fight a good fight....

and then i watched everyone's grief when he passed....

you know, i wrote about this just yesterday morning, bright and early.....

just a little food for thought on Facebook....

i watched the outpour of all of these heartfelt messages to him....

why didn't these people come forward with these words before?

where were all these thoughts,

and prayers

and love

and messages BEFORE he passed away....

my main point yesterday was if you are touched by someone and their smile, their laugh, their optimistic attitude....

if you enjoy spending time with someone, or love to kiss them, or get excited when they call....

if you are touched by someone who is ALIVE AND WELL, TELL THEM, PEOPLE!!!!!!!! Do you notice how people come forth to speak about all these wonderful memories and such AFTER the person is gone??

Do you notice how someone becomes a hero once they are gone? All of these people speak up after the fact.... i don't get it. i mean, i appreciate the thoughts of their actions, but to me, it seems like it's more about the people saying the nice things, once the person's already gone, than it is about the person who is gone.... when you tell the person who is ALIVE how wonderful they are, they can share in the joy that you are feeling.... am i wrong? they can KNOW the lives they touch.... or how contagious their laughter and smiles are.... wouldn't you agree?

i know many people have different beliefs as to what happens to people.

some people believe that once you're dead,

you're just gone.

there is not life after.

there is no communication.

no heaven.

there is nothing else that happens, but that you are buried....

there is no hell.

no pearly gates,

no God waiting for you.

that's it.

others believe that there is life after death.

there's a heaven.

a God waiting.

a hell waiting.

most people want to believe that there loved one has gone to heaven once they have passed.

and although there are many people i have known, who have not had any "religious beliefs" at all, when they lose a loved one, or someone else does, i notice they are praying all of a sudden....

i notice their loved one has "Gone to heaven," or that "heaven has another wonderful angel now."

i'm not quite sure i fully understand people's beliefs, or lack thereof, or if it's just "hope" and "weakness" that leads them to pray... that leads them to say such things as "i'm praying for you" and such.... anyway.... regardless of people's beliefs, i think it shows that in moments of weakness, and fear and sorrow, many of us turn to a higher power to somehow magically "fix" what is going on.... i remember praying as a little girl, when i was little. i used to just pray that bad things would go right, but never prayed to thank God for the wonderful things I was given....

In my last post, i went on and on about how in love with my husband i was.... and how i adore even the smallest (most annoying) things he does.... how empty my entire life would be without him....

i give thanks for him every morning I wake up, and he is still breathing... i give thanks again around 6 am, when i receive his text or call that he's made it to work safely.... i give thanks again when we go to sleep at night, because he's made it home safe and sound and i get to fall asleep next to him again.... how wonderful that is!!!!

_____________________

so remember that "we all take life for granted" that i was talking about in my last post?

i totally did something that i feel terribly guilty about....

terribly guilty, because i am still slighlty upset about it, but i don't know who to be upset with, therefore, i sit back with squinted eyes feeling upset at everyone.... =(

i know, shame on me, right?

and you'll ask over what, and i'll tell you and then you'll all laugh and say "REALLY ashley?!"

and i'll say, "ummm, no? i was just kidding. i'm not really mad about it."

i'm cheap.

sometimes, when it comes to money, i'm cheap.

but i'm sentimental as all heck!

everything that someone gives to me, holds such great meaning (remember? i would be a hoarder if jason hadn't come into my life)

so saturday was lewie's birthday party, and he received ALL kinds of different gifts....

most of them toys to help him to walk.... he stands up and, as long as he's holding onto something, he'll take off, BUT he won't walk by himself....

we got the hint.

everyone was telling us Lewie's behind. ;)

anyway,

my younger sister bought lewie toy story bedding.....

wrapped up in toy story wrapping paper....

we had the party at jason's dad's and stepmom's house, and it was mostly family there....

everything came in huge boxes and there was just one big bag that someone had given us a gift in.

anyway, the night goes on, and it's time to load the truck and go home.

i don't know who loaded the truck, and at this point i don't really care.... (although my curiosity still wants to know)....

buuuut, the bedding is missing.

every.thing.else. is here.... except the bedding....

we searched high and low for it.

checked the car.

the garage.

the entire house....

called them to check their house....

it's not there.

they checked everywhere, and the trash.

they couldn't even find the wrapping paper it was wrapped in.

now there were 2 thoughts that initially went through my mind....

1. maybe we didn't open the bedding there?? maybe i just THOUGHT we opened it there, and we really didn't!!!!

nope. not the case.... i'm pretty sure THAT'S the toy story bedding right below taylor in the picture.... you see the clear bag that says TOY STORY on it.... in the bedding bag?? there is picture proof that the bedding DID exist!!!!

and yes, it was Lewie's birthday, not Taylor's, however, with all of Lewie's toys that were purchased, his dad and stepmom were thoughtful and got her one to open too so she wouldn't feel left out. how sweet, because i wouldn't think of something like that. i'd give her a hard time and say, "dude, your birthday is coming up in a few months. get over it."

then i thought, okay, well SINCE the bedding DID exist, then maybe it flew out of the car.... or someone stole it from our car.... well, truck.

(because if it was put in the back of the truck, then it COULD have flown OUT of the truck, OR when we stopped for PANDA EXPRESS on our way HOME, someone COULD have STOLEN it out of the BACK OF OUR TRUCK!!!!!!!) which is why i NEVER PUT STUFF IN THE BACK OF THE TRUCK THAT CAN FLY OUT OR BE STOLEN!!!! i'm crazy about this!!!!! jason ALWAYS says it will be okay....

anyway, i didn't load the truck, so honestly i can't tell you where the bedding was loaded. jason says that the bag was put INSIDE the truck, which only leaves one other explanation for the missing bedding.... a ghost stole it.

so i was upset with jason all day yesterday over this bedding.

1. because if he DID put it in the back of the truck and it flew out, I TOLD YOU SO!

2. if someone stole it out of the back of the truck, I TOLD YOU SO!!!!

or

3. if a ghost stole it, I TOLD YOU THERE ARE SUCH THINGS AS GHOSTS! I TOLD YOU SO!!!!

so whatever happened to the bedding, I TOLD YOU SO!!!!!

not only was it one of the most expensive gifts we had, it was from my younger sister who doesn't have a whole lot of money to spend.... here i go with my dang sentimental-ness....

jason tried sooo hard to get me to get over the missing bedding.

"we'll go buy new bedding." he said. "then lewie will have the bedding you wanted him to have, and the only thing that is really missing is the 40 bucks."

it sounded good, but not good enough at the time.

i was still upset.

he said a bunch more, that all likely sounded good to him, but i was still upset....

how does bedding just DISAPPEAR!?!?

then i started thinking, "if i loaded the truck myself, i would know where the bedding was put. i would know where it went missing, and probably at what time." because i'm weird like that....

this took me back to my super controlling ways of it just being taylor and i, and i was upset....

and no matter how hard i tried talking myself out of it, nothing was working,

until this....

"what if something were to happen to him RIGHT NOW?! how HORRIBLE would i feel for bickering about toy story bedding that would just cost us 4o bucks.... (well actually 80 if you count the 40 that was already spent on it)...."

the answer: i'd feel horrible. so i sent him a text message and said, "i'd choose you over 40 dollar toy story bedding anyday honey."

his response: "you wouldn't have said that an hour ago."

my response: "nevermind."

lol. the bottom line is, that no matter how major things seem, remember if it isn't life or death, chances are it's petty.... (unless it has to do with toy story bedding, then it's major)....

i love my husband more than toy story bedding.

i love my husband more than toy story bedding.

i love my husband more than toy story bedding.....

....i'm ALMOST convinced it's petty..... ;)

cheeks.

so ya'll know I had my wisdom teeth removed on Friday.

and the stink and swelling are slowly going away....

but not without melting my headboard last night (per Jason).

and not without Lewie making the farting noise in my face, as if to tell me he was not kissing my butt.... although it was my face....

and the swelling.... just looks funny.

looks like I'm hoarding nuts in my mouth....

....like a squirrel, you perv.

so tonight i go to put Lewie's laker sweats on for bed.

jason yells, "noooooo!!!! those are his laker pants.... for tomorrow night!!!!"

i THROW the pants across the living room, dramatically, and yell back, "THEN GET ME A PAIR of sweats he CAAAAAN wear!!!!!!!"

he gets up in my face and says, "don't give me attitude!!!! i'll smack those fat cheeks of yours!!!! and NOT the ones you're sitting on either!!!"

buuuuuuurrrrrnnnnn....

Real (bedtime/dirty) Talk.

I stood in the bathroom, in our bedroom, getting ready for bed.... This consists of slipping into my ultra sexy drawstring plaid pants and memphis tigers t-shirt, removing my contacts and brushing my teeth....

Me: I think I have gas.

Jason: what does that have to do with me?

Me: in case I accidentally fart in my sleep....

Jason: why don't you accidentally go sleep on the couch?

what does it take to get a pillowcase around here?

a dose of unlaziness on your part and about 10 steps to the linen cupboard.

ooooooooo burn....

walk me down the aisle....

my parents divorced when i was a year and a half.

i'm glad for that.

i'm glad for that because my parents were better apart.

and i'm glad because i don't remember it.

yes, i'm glad for that....

i'm glad for that because my dad remarried a WONDERFUL woman who is still my stepmom to this day, and he passed away 2 years and 4 months ago....

i think we are closer now than we have ever been before, even though she's still in Tennessee and i'm in cali....

i remember the night my mom went on her first date with my now stepfather....

she was getting ready in the bathroom and i walked in there and asked her where she was going....

"on a date," she said....

she was wearing jeans and a BIG baggy BUM equipment sweatshirt and putting her hair up in one of those jaws of life clips that go in your hair. doesn't sound really sexy, does it? but somehow she made it sexy....

she made it sexy and she ended snagging this man... or he snagged her, or whatever.... it ended up working out just right and exactly the way it was supposed to.... they've been together for almost 20 years now.... or like 16, but pretty darn close to 20....

i had a rocky relationship with my dad at times.... one of the most rocky being when i was in high school.... i remember breaking up with a long time boyfriend and one of his friends calling me a really bad name.... i was SOOOOO hurt and called my dad crying... it was really late cali time, which meant it was really REALLY late Tennessee time.... i remember getting his answering machine and trying to spit some words that made sense in my head out onto the machine.... i'm sure all he could hear was, "daaaaaad... *crying*sniffle*sniffle*asd;fadfjadfadsfjfa*crying*...." i remember he picked up the phone STARTLED and asking "what's wrong? what's wrong? i can't understand you when you're crying. so stop crying and tell me what's wrong...."

and so i sniffled one really hard sniffle and snorted like a quart of snot into my brain and tried to explain to him that i was just called a really bad name and it totally hurt my feelings and it wasn't true and well i was just trying to relay my pain to him.... and yeah.... he really wasn't going for it.... as painful as it felt, i was doing a HORRIBLE job getting that across to him.

so instead of the comfort i was originally looking and rather hoping for, his response was something like this, "is that what you called for? to tell me that someone called you a bad name? is it true?"

me: "no."

dad: "then why are you so upset about it? you can't call here in the middle of the night when i have to get up for work tomorrow. i thought something happened to ya." (he has a southern accent)

so, NOT getting the support that i was looking for, we hung up after i apologized and then i sat there feeling even more like crap.... this night was just terrible.... and i'd realized that NO ONE understood my feelings....

but there was my stepdad (and my mom who was pretty good at it, but we must not have been getting along at the time, or she wasn't home or something, i don't know why i didn't go to her).... now my stepdad.... he is a great great man.... he is a man that i admire and love with all of my heart....

i remember dreaming of my wedding day since i was little.... and i remember thinking about my dad walking me down the aisle, and then slowly came to the realization that he would likely not be around IF and whenever i DID decide to get married, because i was pretty certain that it was no where in my future.... (until i met jason).... HOWEVER, when i was younger, i remember asking my mom if she would wear a tuxedo and walk me down the aisle because she had always been "my dad".... and then when my stepdad came into the picture, i remember exactly where i was when i had asked him if HE would walk me down the aisle whenever i got married (mind you, i was really young).... we were driving down the freeway, passing a large park back in our old neighborhood.... i remember asking him if he would walk me down the aisle if i ever got married.... of course he accepted.... and gladly. he even said he'd be honored to.... wow. so glad that was resolved....

then.... december 6th, 2008 came.... it was my wedding day.... and i don't know WHY i hadn't thought much about who was going to walk me down the aisle.... in fact, there was only immediate family there and i wanted them to all be able to watch our wedding ceremony, so i had almost planned on walking MYSELF down the aisle.... (and my dad really was kind of there, because the necklace i'm wearing holds some of his ashes, how cool is that?.... oh and you can click on the pictures to see what i'm talking about... they get bigger)

i was standing in the back, ALMOST ready to go.... when i thought about asking my stepdad to come and walk me down the aisle, but i couldn't help but to think about years before that, being SUPER young and asking my mom to walk me down the aisle, and although i was feeling INCREDIBLY torn in the back, by myself, i asked the wedding planner if she could please go get my mother.... (who was already seated with my wonderful stepdad, and next to a picture of my father, who's in Heaven, and my lovely stepmother)....

i had a gazillion flashbacks of myself (as a child) and my mother and what an amazing woman she is and pretty much has been.... we had been through SOOOOO much together.... she was ALWAYS there supporting me.... even if she wasn't always the happiest person, or the most affectionate person, she ALWAYS had my back,(well, except when i ditched school and she told them that i was supposed to be at school so go ahead and do "whatever they needed to do" with me) and i knew that... i remember our agreement that SHE was going to walk me down the aisle and i couldn't go back on that.... she came back there to the back room and asked what i'd needed and i told her (trying to fight all my tears) that i wanted her to walk me down the aisle as we had originally planned years ago....

and we both got all watery eyed and of course she agreed.....

and the doors opened.... might i add, that this had to be THE greatest feeling in my life.... the most certain i'd ever been about anything in my life.... walking arm in arm with my mom, down an aisle that had rose petals dropped by the best daughter in the world (well next to me of course)....

down the aisle to the most handsome man i've EVER laid eyes on.... i mean, literally, my heart was skipping beats, or more like double beating when those doors opened.... my eyes INSTANTLY filled with tears.... and i had never been more certain about ANYTHING, than i was about walking down that aisle and promising to love that man for the very rest of my existence....

so, my mom walked me down the aisle, and gave me away.... i'm SO glad my last minute instincts (which i'm really good at... procrastinators are good at that last minute instinct stuff) kicked in and i'm SUPER glad she walked me down the aisle.... when i look back, maybe i should have had them BOTH walk me down the aisle, but then my side would have pretty much been empty (well there WERE other people there, but still).... i kinda wanted to see their faces when i came walking out, you know? but i didn't even look at their faces, because i was so focused on jason and not stepping or tripping on my dress.... and i was wondering where all the cameras were that were videotaping us and showing us live on the internet.... that made me kind of nervous but was so much better than walking down an aisle in front of like 250 people... i was totally famous, like in japan, tennessee, ohio, shoot.... i was a movie star for the night, (okay, so not really, but they COULD have watched).... =)

anyway.... here's a group picture.... a fun one. of our wedding night.... this picture holds my heart, for sure.

the kings on a budget

okay, so "the Kings on a budget" looks something like this.

saturday: make a boatload of lasagna, so there is DEFINITELY enough for leftovers.... at least for 2 more meals....

sunday: eat leftover lasagna. plan the meals for the rest of the week, or at least until friday which is payday again.

monday: only enough leftover lasagna for jason and i (poor taylor is rather grateful, as she doesn't like picking the onions out of the lasagna for 3 nights.... 2 was the limit) so i whip her up a dang quesadilla (and snag a piece because i'm starving) and then cut up the rest so that she doesn't even know a piece is missing.... i snack on 3 thin mints, thinking that i totally just got away with it, when jason comes in the kitchen (from his shower) and says "eatin' thin mints while cookin huh?" he must've smelled the chocolate mint on my breath.... (i'd like to think it smelled at least somewhat minty).

tuesday: i run out of bodywash, so decide to use shampoo instead. wonder if shampoo washes your body as well as it washes your hair.... re-wash with jason's bodywash, and hope he doesn't wonder why i smell like a man when he gets home.... realize that lewie doesn't have enough formula to make it through the day, so i'm going to have to go to the store (costco) anyway, which makes me nervous, because Costco is never just a "trip to the store." it's always like "at least a hundred dollar trip to the store...... IF you're lucky." and you usually walk out spending like two hundred and fifty, and then you feel like you can't leave the house for the next 3 weeks because you totally just spent too much.... you go for formula and end up leaving with said formula, and a baby monitor.... and a huge rug to put in the 3rd bedroom so that you can move the baby in there and actually get some sleep tonight..... and some french bread pizza, because the sample on the aisle's end was far too good to pass up, and like a gallon of vegetable oil, cuz you were gonna make brownies and it called for 1/4 cup of vegetable oil, and well, getting a gallon at costco was like such a better deal than buying it at the grocery store (even if you don't use vegetable oil for like another year, it was totally worth it)....

anyway.... i am currently in the process of using my imagination and "walking" through costco, and i'm imagining passing all the aisles that i don't NEED stuff from.... and imagining all the aisles that i DO need stuff from. i'm ONLY going to get what we NEED and LEAVE.... wish me luck on that one.

then tonight, we are using our 10 dollar pizza hut gift card to order something super cheap at pizza hut, (even if it is the 2 pastas for 10 dollars on tuesday deal), because then that buys us another meal without having to go grocery shopping for....

wednesday: we are having dinner at moms. corned beef and cabbage.... which i'm not a HUGE fan of, but everyone says she makes it well, and it'll be our st. patty's day celebration, because you all know how irish our japanese family is.... (okay so not really, but you get the point).... it's another meal we don't have to shop for, and well, quite frankly, we have a pretty cool family that we like hanging out with a few (6 times) a week (okay, so not really six, but it feels like it. i see them a lot, and i'm not complaining, well unless.... nevermind. i'll just leave it at that).....

and then thursday..... well then thursday there are no plans yet.... except for the fact that i will have to cook again. and after looking in the fridge, freezer and cupboards, i am going to make baked chicken, corn and mashed potatoes, because we have all the stuff needed for that.... and well that's just another meal that we don't have to go grocery shopping for....

and then friday... well friday is payday and time to go grocery shopping again.... we will have food for the week and i will no longer smell like a man.... =)

four play.... for play.... foreplay....

FOUR PLAY: last night, all four of us went to dinner. (Jason, Taylor, Lewie and myself) We joked around the table, ate a really good meal and got good use out of ONE of the MANY gift cards we have been stashing in our underwear drawers for quite some time now. (do not break in to our home and try to steal our gift cards from our underwear drawer, because I have since moved them since this post). ;) I held Lewie while trying to eat my "street style mini steak tacos" and everytime I'd put the food to my mouth, Lewie would open his mouth too and lean his face in to my taco.... so i ended up letting him munch on 2 pieces of steak and a grilled onion.... gave him some of my ice water and lemon, and we all enjoyed the heck out of watching him enjoy "real" food.... too much fun....

FOR PLAY: Jason and taylor go on and on about how grumpy mom is (not me, some other mom).... that's "for play." Jason throws a sweater across the room and it lands on Lewie's head and covers his eyes. He cannot see and begins to grunt. (that's "for play").... I hear Lewie crying in the middle of the night, and continue to snore and drool and act like I am sleeping so that jason will get up and help Lewie get settled back into some slumber.... that is "for play."

which leads me in to my next example of "foreplay."

you ask a man his definition of "foreplay" and he'll give you something that might make you really uncomfortable (or really comfortable if you're a freak), depending on who you are.... you ask a woman her definition of the word, and it's (usually) entirely different!

So we get to talking last night, and i think there is a HUGE difference and understanding that men and women need to come to.....

MEN.... our idea of this definition is usually mental on some level, and although you THINK we are mental, i'm not referring to that kind of mental. Our closeness (usually) comes from feeling close to our husbands on that level. Good conversation about all sorts of different stuff, all night, can lead to me feeling close to my husband. A nice massage, or noticing a few things I've done.... that's nice.... noticing that when you left for work this morning and the house was a complete disaster and that when you came home, the house was much cleaner, the floors were vacuumed, the laundry done and the bed is made.... noticing that, is nice (you don't need to go overboard, just a little mention and/or appreciation....) that's nice.... suggesting a date night.... that's nice.... being in a good mood, while doing something you both really don't want to do, like cleaning the house (see movie "The Break Up" for example) .... that's nice too.... i can go on and on.... it's these super goober-tastic things that can REALLY make a woman feel nice and WANT to be close to you in the ways that YOU probably want to be close to her....

WOMEN.... i don't know where to help you here... i'm still working on this one myself. haha. Men are (usually) more playful than the women.... not always, but usually.... our definitions of the word are so incredibly different, that i DO understand why many people end up sleeping with their backs to each other.... their wants are ENTIRELY different (usually)....

so jason and i played this game last night (and i had SO much fun with my husband, not in that way, you perv!).... we were straightening the house together, when he picks up my starbucks cup and takes it to the kitchen.... "is this foreplay, honey?" he asks as he rinses it out and throws it away.... this game goes on all night, and we are laughing hysterically at some of the things the other one is doing....

just brought me to some odd conclusion (and a great idea that i'm not entirely convinced i know how to communicate comfortably yet), that our ideas of "closeness" are entirely different.... we both have some bending to do to bring the other one in....

the main point of this blog...is no, not to seduce men by ANY means.... (and i'm sure i haven't done that at ALL, haha) but the main point is, "men.... just step up your game for your wives...."

(jason's got it down now).... that's right.... clean out that cup, shake your tail while vacuuming, put your dirty clothes in the laundry basket... squeegy (sp?) down that shower.... uh huh, you've got it! do your thang boy!!!

this makes for some VERY happy women....

dreaded topic in our household: money.

i hate the topic.

i can spend it like no other,

but i HATE the topic.

hate it with a passion.

i married a saver (which is awesome)

he married a spender (which is unawesome).

BUT, i can say that i have become SO much better....

so much better that I have even started a budget on iWork.

i started filling in all the dollar amounts last night, because he really has no interest in this whatsoever....

i am filling this in and realizing, how EXPENSIVE life is....

you really just don't realize how much money everything costs... (or where you spend it)

you just spend it as needed (or in my case, as wanted), and it's *poof* gone, never to be seen again....

ugh.

i dread the topic.

i do.

and this is one thing, that, until there is a strict budget we are working off of, (or i learn to control my emotions), it'll always upset me....

we have a good idea....

but as for now, that's what it remains...

an idea...

money.

ugh.....

quit breathing, you're fogging up the windows....

"would you quit breathing? you're fogging up the windows..."

when i really meant to ask, "would you quit talking?"

i didn't mean for him to go and die on me now....

heck, he's the light of my life.

the sunshine in my day.

the apple of my eye.

or whatever else they say....

he's all of that good stuff.

i'll just say, "he's the chocolate of my life." (now THAT'S some good stuff !!!! speaking of chocolate, i just found a 1 lb see's candy gift certificate in my underwear drawer. YESSSSSS!!!!!)

so last night, we went to a wonderfully stuffing sushi dinner.

i ate so much, in fact, i could feel sushi backing up into my esophagus....

to try to push the sushi down, i thought a sliver of cake might help, but then i realized my stuffed esophagus was very much like a clogged toilet and that adding MORE toilet paper (or cake) to a clogged toilet (or esophagus) was only going to worsen or overflow the situation....

thankfully i didn't hurl.

(and thankfully he didn't either.)

he must have said "cheers", well let's just say, far more than i can ever remember him "cheers"ing anyone before....

he was having a good time.

and i felt torn.

there was the motherly (aka Godly, bossy, spazzy, crazy, controlling wife) side of me that wanted to say "there now. you've had enough."

and then there was this other side of me, that, (again in this relationship, just sat back and let the man make his own decisions) enjoyed seeing him so happy. he wouldn't stop smiling. this week has been a good one, i tell you.

jason is a hard man to buy gifts for.

he owns very little, but tells you he has all he needs and/or wants....

you think you'll surprise him with something, but chances are he won't like it or he won't be able to enjoy it because, if you've spent even a dollar on it, you've already spent too much.

wellllll, i made up my mind, that his care for money needed to go out the window and i wasn't going to listen to his voice in my head that i normally do when i get him a gift, because, by golly, i was going to get him a gift and make his birthday special this year.

so.... made a great dinner (slow cooked a pot roast all day with some potatoes and carrots) which turned out great (thanks mom for the seasoning and coffee idea! ) baked some homemade chocolate chip cookies ("from scratch cookies", as jason likes to call em) he LOVES these by the way.... we got him a mountain bike for his birthday this year. we'd all like to get out more, and, well the next big holiday that would call for any kind of larger gift giving would be either our anniversary or Christmas, which (both) would be in December, and well far beyond the sunny days of wanting to actually get outside and ride a bike (the summertime!).... so it was necessary that we make the "bike purchase" now... only, i don't have a bike either, so do i buy us BOTH bikes? well then if i did that, i'd be spending probably about 500 bucks and if i bought myself a bike, then it really wasn't like a birthday present for HIM.... anyway, borrowing mom's old one until we figure that part out. woo hoo. (thanks, again, mom!)....

so last night.... sushi dinner.... with the rest of our families.... combined. a bunch of people.... lots of talking, and laughing and pictures and just a good time. and then there was Lewie.... who fought like heck to be a good boy.... but he struggled. he was tired. he wanted his bed. he didn't like the noise from the other parties that joined the place at some point during the night.... lewie's arching his back, screaming his little head off. his face is BRIGHT red, and he is just NOT a happy camper. but over all the noise, jason couldn't hear it. he was at the other end of the table, laughing and chatting with everyone. (i LOVE to see my husband this happy, by the way) so that "motherly" side of me that wanted to call it a night, was a bit overpowered by the side of me who is thankful for a husband like him. he never goes out, never spends any time with his friends, and if you ask him, that's the way he wants it.... to be home with us rather than out at some bar that he's spent the last 10 years at.... (or maybe he's just saying what he thinks i want to hear?) either way, i'm grateful, that i NEVER wonder where my husband is.... i NEVER go to sleep alone... i NEVER have to wonder if he's driving under the influence of anything. i am just grateful. very, very grateful.

he enjoyed himself last night, as did i.

i enjoyed watching him socialize with everyone.

i baked a yellow cake (with CHOCOLATE frosting) and took that with us to the japanese restaurant and at some point after our sushi stuffing fest, we decided we'd better sing happy birthday to Jason.

well the ENTIRE restaurant decides to sing happy birthday, and by "the entire restaurant" i mean "the ENTIRE restaurant"....

someone even shut all of the lights off and the only thing lit was his cake.

it was awesome!

and when everyone cheered after the singing, someone flickered the lights on and off while the ENTIRE restaurant clapped and roared and whistled....

now, my husband....

he's a quiet guy.

a shy guy, don't-go-big, i'm-not-a-birthday, kind of guy....

but he was loving it....

even i could see that.

and THAT is a wonderful feeling....

we wrapped it up shortly after the cake part, and headed to the truck.

he gets in the truck and looks over at me and softly says "i love you baby."

i didn't know if he was talking to Lewie or to me (taylor went home with my mom and poppa a little bit earlier)....

i looked over at him and he was just smiling at me....

he told me i was his most favorite person in the entire world....

his most favorite person ever....

ever ever ever....

it made me smile....

i wanted to acknowledge him and go on about how much i love him and how much he is MY favorite person in the world, but didn't want to interrupt his "i love you so much" speech....

so i let him go on....

he'd say it again , "you're my favorite person in the world mama. you're so good to me."

and i said, "i hope i'm your favorite person! you're stuck with me forever."

he said, "i'm not stuck. i choose to be here."

sounded very much like something i tell him almost daily....

i'm not stuck.

i choose to be here....

and what an awesome choice.

what a HEALTHY choice.

so really, when i thought "stop breathing. you're fogging up the windows," what i really wanted to say was "stop talking, you're fogging up the windows."....

but instead, i tightened the scarf around my neck, turned on the "anti-heavy breathing" defroster and listened to him tell me, again (*batting my eyelashes*), how wonderful i am....

no, but really.... stop talking, you're fogging up the windows....

Valentines day, Love, As-Is.

so romance sure makes for a great story.... it often lets your heart dream and fantasize.... =)

so often we hope for something terribly romantic so that we can boast and brag to the world about what a terribly romantic spouse we have.... we almost "compare" our romantic stories to others (even if it is subconsciously)....

well i don't have a romantic story to share, but i guess it carries its own level of romance and it's just the perfect amount of romance for me.... it was all i needed....

absolutely, all i needed....

so yesterday, valentines day, doesn't start off terribly romantic.

after a few swift kicks (and punches) to the ribs (and face), and the distant hacking cough (and cries) from taylor in her room, we were both sitting at the edges of the bed.

no words exchanged between us, jason went straight to taylor's room (and got her cough medicine and sat comforting her), while i'm messing around with Lewie's bottle, trying to make the 8 ounce bottle, holding a very squirmy Lewie... he's screaming in my left ear and trying to lean forward to watch me make his bottle.

Lewie, you don't need to watch what i'm doing.... it doesn't make the process any faster. in fact it only slows it down.... of course, i only WISH he understood what i'm saying.... but he doesn't. but i wish he did....

so i'm carrying lewie back to our room, and jason's walking back to our room too....

we kinda meet up in the living room, both heading back to the bedroom, and i rub his back and kinda chuckle, "happy valentines day honey."

and i couldnt help but to think, "we chose this life. we CHOSE this."

lewie was no mistake...

i smiled to myself and thought that as much as i wanted to pull my hair out at times, this is exactly what we chose, and we are beyond blessed to have what we have.... even though sometimes i think i hate waking up at 4 am, my life would be so incredibly empty without those "rude awakenings."

we are sleep deprived.... "riding the wheel" as a pastor said.... wake up, go on about our day, meet up again at dinnertime, get the kids ready for bed, flip a few channels, before calling it a night and going to bed too.... anyway... we are sleep deprived and the morning isn't the most pleasant. I don't even think we said happy valentines day until much later in the morning.

we got up early and all jumped in the car to go deliver the valentines day cards that taylor had made for everyone. she wanted to drop them off on their doorsteps before they woke up, so we all jumped in the car in our pjs (well everyone except daddy)....

we dropped off all the cards and candy and then got starbucks and came home. we cleaned a little.... picked at each other for a bit.... then went into one of our discussions that lead me to falling in love with my husband a million times over all over again....

so we are ready for the day, showered, dressed and ready for this sunny day. we load up the truck and head over to mom's.... we aren't there for too long, but enjoy some guacamole and chips.... well more like, we nearly STUFF ourselves with guacamole and chips.... we enjoy the company of our family. we exchanged little goodies and came home. Lewie needed his nap (and crib, since he doesn't sleep anywhere WELL except for his crib).... and dinner would be approaching much quicker than we realized. being the lousy planner that I am, I hadn't even thought about what to make for dinner. well, i'd thought about it, but still had no idea what to make. i wanted to make something special. something i don't make too often, but i don't really rotate around too many recipes, and i'm not entirely sure what he would feel like eating anyway.... i really overthink things. he's told me this on multiple occasions, but there i was.... overthinking again. i wanted to include Taylor very much in our dinner plans.... so i thought about her and i making a pizza with the pepperonis into a heart shape on the pizza, but we had just had pizza the night before, so that was scratched out of the possibilities. i wanted something not too over the top, something fairly simple and I WANTED TO INCLUDE TAYLOR in our plans.... well, taylor had other plans of her own. she wanted to spend the night at nana and pawpa's.... mom said it was fine and that she'd love to have taylor over.... so once we came home, i had taylor gather up her stuff so that i could take her right back. lewie laid down and was out in an instant. i was hoping to hurry back and have alone time with jason.... once i left the house, i called newport rib company to order take out... yum! ribs and cornbread sounded SO good.... so i thought that while i dropped taylor off, i'd swing by, grab the ribs and head home... well the wait was a little bit longer than i'd hoped for, so i sat around waiting just a tad bit longer than expected.... but got it none the less... YUM! it smelled delicious.... the entire car smelled like the bbq ribs that were boxed tightly in the bag on the seat next to me.... i couldn't wait to get home and dig into them with Jason. as i was driving up crown valley, heading home, the sun was setting.... this was one of those grateful moments that almost bring tears to your eyes.... I was so grateful to be living here in California, in such a beautiful are of california.... i could see the city lights view.... the buildings and city lights lit up the sky as the sun began to set behind the cliffs.... Garth Brooks' 'Shameless' came on the radio, and i turned it up as loud as it sounded clear.... i belted out the song at the top of my lungs.... such a great song!!!! it gave me chills.... kind of reminded me of Jason....

and I gave thanks to God for being right here in this moment in time....

grateful for a husband that I respected more than I'd respected any other being in my life....

thankful that it was HIM I was driving home to....

with these wonderfully smelling bbq ribs and cornbread and sweet butter....

i couldn't wait....

you know, i RESPECT my husband. i VALUE his opinions and they matter. i TRUST his opinions and genuinely CARE about what he has to say and how he feels. i know that he is constantly striving to be a better person, as am i, and i think that is what keeps our love on this "level." it may not sound incredibly romantic, but it's a different kind of romance. a romance on a level i can't even begin to tell you about.... i mean, i really genuinely fall in love with my husband all over again after these discussions, these talks.... these moments of vulnerability....

so i got home....

there were 2 plates on the table.

and a candle.

the playpen was set up in the living room and the tv was on mute...

if that meant that lewie was going in his playpen so that we could have a dinner together, then he was going in his playpen, because we were not passing this moment up....

and we sat at our dinner table, and i said Grace....

i gave thanks for my husband being exactly as he is....

all the things i complain about, i am glad it's him i can complain to....

all the things i give thanks for, i'm glad he's in nearly all of them....

so as i sat back in my chair at the table.... with the candle lit.... and lewie squealing his high pitch squeal, and knowing T was as happy as she could be at nana's house, i knew THIS was the life we chose.... even if it meant dinner over our dining room table, with our squealing baby and bbq ribs to go.... it was far more than i could have ever asked for....

and i knew that this is ENTIRELY what life is about....

THIS is the kind of love you can only hope to carry with you in life....

this is the way we were meant to love one another....

unconditionally....

whole heartedly....

AS-IS....

i love him this way.....

and as i've said before.... everyone has their own idea of perfect....

and mine just so happens to be right.....

for me! =)

So to many MANY more Valentines days together... 2 down, many more to come.

i love you JRK, more than you'll ever EVER know....

driving home....

My creative juices get flowing at night.... Maybe because jason falls asleep and I'm still awake, thinking of all the things I didn't get out of my head from earlier in the day.... Nooo.... That's not it, because all these seem to be new ideas.... Like they all of a sudden came to me tonight.... On my bit of a long drive home from long beach to laguna.... From the 22 east... To the 405 south.... To the 5 south.... I thought of many different things....

First of all, I'm sorry for getting on here and "venting" so much. You must think I hate being a mother or something, but in fact I don't.... I just share the side that many people don't share (mainly us women). You'll always hear women saying things like "ohhhh becoming a mommy was the greatest thing I've ever done..." Or "it's just the most wonderful thing you can ever experience...." Or things like that.... What they DON'T normally tell you, are all the normal feelings they feel.... Now I don't know if it's out of guilt.... Or if it's just because it's one of those forbidden things you just don't talk about.... Sort of like poop.... Whatever the case may be, the feelings are very real....(And, in fact, very normal!!!). I think every woman, (and probably man too) thinks about life before baby and how much easier it was, and how much more peaceful it was.... Stuff like that. You guys both got more attention from each other, and yes.... Affection too! I miss that SUPER closeness I had with my husband, which we both want back more than anything, but we've also both accepted that in a little due time (like maybe when he sleeps a little bit longer.... ) It'll come back. I still find my husband amazingly attractive.... And often wonder if I'm still as attractive to him as I once was.... I would never ask him that, but instead try to take his word when he says things like "you are so beautiful." Or "I still look at you the same as I did before.". But I see the pooch on my stomach... I know it's there, just as well as he does.... How attractive can that be?? I know it wasn't there when we met.... SEE MEN!!!! See what you guys do?! You fall in love with us one way, start a family with us, and now we don't look the same as we did before.... I know we also have to give it time and not be so hard on ourselves.... I just don't want to become that t-shirt and warmups wearing mom, with no makeup, throwing my hair back in a ponytail, "just because that's the easiest." (No offense to any of those moms!!!) I just want to keep up myself as I'd hope he would want to for me....

You know, since jason and I knew we were expecting, he has always made it very clear that he wanted me to stay at home with the kiddos and raise them.... Of course, it all sounds nice and everything, but when you're used to working fulltime, and used to depending on yourself as your sole-provider, "staying at home" just doesn't FEEEEL as appealing as it so often sounds.... Or better yet, make a decision once your child is born. With taylor, I remember working when she was 8 weeks old.... I worked nights at Hoag and LOVED coming home to her! I missed her while I was away.... (And although I didn't always LOVE seeing her at 8 am when I wanted to sleep, I did miss her very much so while I was busy working.... (Side note: I financially provided for us, but had a GREAT amount of daycare assistance from my wonderful family) I wouldn't have been able to do it without them.... For sure!!!!

It's very different having both kiddos home while jason's at work from dawn to dusk.... (Okay so not really but from 5 am-ish until 6 pm-ish.... So almost!). I don't have my grandma in a "back house" anymore.... I don't have mom upstairs, or sisters closeby.... I have me. And mom and poppa around the corner (and they still help a tremendous deal), it's just a completely different experience, and as it should be!!!!

I'd go into a little more of our plans for our near future, but Jason isn't as "open" as I am, and I don't want to disrespect him in throwing every detail about us into the public.... Ooooo I bet you're wondering what I'm not telling now huh? haha. I'm teasing. We're a great team, and I'm learning how to become a better partner.... I'm selfish!!! I know that about me! But I've never really committed myself to someone. I could be loyal, just wasn't ever COMMITTED to someone you know?? I always felt like "this isn't gonna last." Maybe that's why I always thought I'd never get married.... I just didn't care enough about someone else and compromising and all that stuff you do when you're really, truly committed.... Giving up isn't an option for us.... We ALWAYS know we'll get through whatever is handed to us.... Because if we're handed it, we can.... That's right.... Handle it!!! =).

So tonight, I was driving home in my truck with the baby, while Jason drove home with T (we had met up after he got off from work, ate dinner, and were now headed home).... We were driving and I was re-capping my day (which I do often).... I was overwhelmed.... Completely.... Completely overwhelmed.... I kept looking at this long to-do list, while Lewie was screaming in the background allllll morning into afternoon.... I kept thinking about how I was going to accomplish any of those items on the list. I stopped and prayed (yeah, I know, some of you aren't religious, but it's what keeps me going....) My faith.... My faith in God is what keeps me going.... I prayed and asked Him to forgive me for expecting to accomplish everything on my time.... I smiled. Life isn't on my time, not now, not ever! I can plan out what I'd LIKE to do.... But who knows what comes up in between me wanting to get it done and me actually getting it done (besides my procrastination! Ha!)

Anyway, after praying I knew that I would get done just what I would get done for the day. Nothing more, nothing less.... And so I did! I got the most important things done with nearly no time left in between.... Yeah this is probably getting hard to follow now. Anyway, Lewie had a drs appt at 215. I had to get taylors school registration packet in by 4 (or so I thought), and I had an appt in LB at 6 pm.... A tad bit out of sequence, and with a little extra gas, the most important things got done. I can't complain.... Tomorrow brings another day and yet another attempt to knock some of those things off that list....

The light has been dimmed in our room for the entire time I have been typing this blog out on my phone, so my eyes are really starting to drag right now.... I guess the way little kids count sheep jumping over a fence to fall asleep, is equivalent to me typing out a blog....

I still have tons to say, but do I ever not???

On a much more random note, I found my 7th grade algebra teacher on facebook. He was an excellent teacher, and I still remember many valuable (and invaluable) lessons from his classes (I also took him for geometry in 8th grade, so that may be why I remember him so well) but anyway.... It's super nice to find someone from the past who remembers you too (or at least lies to you and makes you think they remember you, ha!) Totally kidding!

Okay, I have 2 snoring males next to me.... I guess it's time I join the snoozing and snooze too.... Don't think I'm done here.... I've got much more to say! (So what's new?) Ha!

Good night! (Or morning, whatever) =)

The start....

So I finally decided to start some kind of blog....

the way my mind goes, and the way my mind forgets, i thought it'd be a great idea.

today.... Baby King hit the 11 weeks and 6 days mark.

1 more week and 1 day until the 2nd trimester begins.

we found out about our little bundle of joy on December 3rd, just a day before leaving town for our wedding.

Jason and I connected last fall, near an old pizza joint in Lakewood.

It had been a long week at work.... Monika (my best friend), Michelle (younger sister), and our friend Cesar all met up for dinner at The Yardhouse in Irvine.

Michelle, being her sleepy self, headed home after dinner, while Monika, Cesar and I decided our night was not yet ending.

I phoned an old friend, Dustin, in Lakewood, to see what he was up to and if he wanted to meet up with us that night.

So it was to the "old neck of the woods" we headed....

immediately walking into this place, i spotted Jason, standing over by some barstools by himself.

i grabbed Monika's arm and headed straight for the bathroom, heart pounding, butterflies in my stomach....

it had been years since i had seen him....

but i'd remembered him just the same!!!

i locked the bathroom door behind me and took one look in the mirror....

pulled out my make up bag to freshen up my makeup...

and adjusted my hair....

and fixed my jacket....

WHY?! tonight, of all nights, the one night i didn't care how i looked, and here he was....

there he was....

JASON KING....

holy smokes!!!!

we walked back out there, Monika and i, and played it cool....

talked to his friends who recognized me....

caught up with them for a bit, all the while my eyes peeled to jason.

he saw me staring.

i know he did.

i asked his friend, "is that jason? jason king?"

he said, "yep!"

i said. "oh my gosh! i was in love with him for FOUR years!!!!"

jason stared a whole lot, but never said a word.

his friend had told me they were headed elsewhere.

by this time, it was about 115 am.

i knew the night was coming to a close REAL quick.

i asked where they were headed, and told monika and cesar that's where we were headed too....

they left, and as we were getting ready to leave, in comes jason....

oh my gosh! oh my gosh!!

he came right up to me....

and said, "hi i'm jason," putting his hand out to shake mine.

I said, "yeah, i know exactly who you are. i had the hugest crush on you for about 4 years!"

he smiled and said, "can i call you sometime?"

we exchanged numbers that friday night....

he called at about 3 am to make sure we had all made it home safely.

we had.

he asked if he could call me the next day when i got off of work.

i told him i'd be off by 6, so he could call after that.

he said, "between 6 and 7."

the next night, 645 rolled around and my phone rang....

i didn't think he'd really call, but there he was.....

mr. king....

we talked and texted that night....

into sunday....

into monday....

and finally on monday he asks "can i come hang out with you tonight?"

i was completely thrown back....

taylor and i had plans to go grocery shopping and make dinner....

i told him our plans and told him he could join us if he'd like.

sure enough, over he came.....

i walked outside to meet him and he pulled me close.

"can i get some sugar?"

SERIOUSLY jason?! ha!

i was SO scared, and being that i don't just KISS people, i squeezed my lips together as tight as i could and gave him a "butthole" kiss. (that's what he calls it now) hahahaha!

we went grocery shopping, came home. hung out. had a great time, all of us together.

he was amazing!!!!

it was after 1 am and i had no idea when he had planned on leaving, but he looked comfortable on the couch.... not in any kind of hurry to leave.

i asked him when he had to be at work, when he asked if he could stay the night....

WOW!!!! WHAT NERVE!!!!

i told him he could, as long as he had zero expectations from me.... i was SO nervous to have him at my house, asking to stay over.

i was taken back a bit, and almost disgusted that he'd asked, but gave him the benefit of the doubt, being that he had to be at work in the next 2 hours....

we were lying there, talking, and laughing, with space between us, and he didn't cross over onto my side, not even once!!

i LOVED that!

we laughed until i cried.

i had to sit on the edge of the bed a couple times because the cramps were so painful....

i cuddled up next to him and fell asleep....

tuesday came and we texted all day....

he asked what our plans were for dinner..... ended up coming back.

he, tiki and i went to ruby's for dinner....

it was awesome.

such a good time with him....

he came back wednesday, thursday, friday....

he never left....

by october 14th, we had set our wedding date of september 26, 2009....

that was it for me....

100% confident, in my heart and no doubt in my mind, jason was it for me....

that september 26th date seemed so far away.... soon it became december 6th 2008 once we knew we didn't want a big wedding.....

we decided on vegas.

cheap, fun, immediate family only.

jason was ready to do it now.

so we did.

we set the plans and were headed to vegas....

at the end of october, we'd already decided we wanted children.

he was amazing with taylor and our parenting styles were perfect together.

i'm definitely the warden, and he's definitely the softy....

whatever, it works!!!!

he's fun. he's energetic. he builds the self esteem, and has patience unlike any other human being i've ever seen. he never takes his bad days out on taylor, and i knew.... i just knew.... he would be the man i would spend the rest of my days with.... HE would be the father of any babies of mine. =)

we began trying in november.... hoping to be pregnant by his birthday....

a day before we left for vegas, which was december 3rd, i wasn't feeling like myself.... i wasn't late to start, but should have been starting at any time....

i bought 2 tests, drank a few bottles of water, and headed to the dr.... (tests in purse).

while waiting at dr. aish's office, i took a test..... about a minute or so later, immediately PREGNANT! i literally giggled out loud, took a deep breath and wanted to believe it so badly!!!

i peed about 4 more times, but hadn't taken the 2nd test.

by the time i was finally called to the back, and they had me pee, it was clear as water....

their test was negative....

they'd had me go for bloodwork and said they'd call me in a few days....

i came home, took the other test that night. it said PREGNANT also. jason went and bought another 2 pack. that night before bed, i took a test and the next morning i took the 4th one....

we now had 4 PREGNANT readings.... i was definitely pregnant!!!!

there was so much excitement. we called my mom right away and told her the news. she was shocked at first, but excited within a few short moments!!!!

that weekend in vegas (friday night), we'd told his family.

a little taken back, they expressed their happiness as well.

we now had a baby King on the way....

our first prenatal visit with dr chu was on january 6th. we were (by dates) 9 weeks and 2 days.... we asked her if we could hear the heartbeat. she was a bit hesitant as she said it was so early.... didnt want us to be alarmed if we couldnt hear it. we agreed and she tried. first try, there it was.... our baby's heartbeat.... 170's and strong as can be....

our first ultrasound for dates was the following wednesday, january 13th at 315.... size and dates, baby King is actually 9 weeks and 6 days, and the due date has been pushed back from august 8th to august 13th.... baby was VERY active, kicking up a storm, all fingers were visible on both hands.... we got a disc of images to take home with us. auntie sissy and taylor were there....

it was perfect!!!! i was bummed jason was swamped at work in pasadena and couldn't make it, just because i knew how much he would have enjoyed it, but next time i'm sure he'll make it.

i got for my first cervical length on Feb 4th, and must go every 2 weeks after that for the remainder of my pregnancy. i'm at a higher risk of a shortened cervix, which could lead to early birth or a later miscarriage in the 2nd trimester....

keeping our fingers crossed, praying that everything remains the same, and nothing changes until it's time to bring this baby into the world, happy and healthy!

we will keep you posted on here as my belly grows!!!!