LOST.

NO! not the tv show.

MY TEST!!!!

i was sitting at my parent's house today, (to get away from the screaming child at home with jason)....

Pat was my witness!!! as well as anyone within a 3 mile radius....

i was on question 72.

there were 100 questions.

i was about 2 hours and 30 minutes into the test....

and POOF!

the test was gone....

you cannot log back in.

you cannot go back to where you left off.

you cannot go back....

i was done.

the test,

was done.

my attempt at getting a good grade,

my past 2 weeks of studying....

every.

single.

day.

were gone.

the high hopes that i held that i would likely finish this with a good grade,

came crumbling down....

into my lap....

felt like i swallowed my heart.

=(

what a baby i am.

because i sat here as my eyes welled up with tears.

i felt like lewie.

i wanted to scream....

it wasn't just the past few hours of sitting in the same warm spot.

it was the past few weeks of non stop studying....

the crazy hectic drive

and unwillingness to give up, even though i felt like i was slowly slumping into a hole.

i was FINALLY beginning to understand this.

i felt MOTIVATED,

and like i was actually exercising my brain!

i know this doesn't sound like a big deal, but it just felt like my entire world crumbled in those few moments.

I already emailed my professor, but it clearly states in the syllabus that anything "non blackboard related" (blackboard, being the online classroom that we use), is not his fault.

i emailed him anyway....

he's got to be able to see how far into the test i was.

he's got to see that i JUST got booted!!

he's got to see that i was on a roll!!!!

even if i get credit for what i did get completed, it still won't be good enough.... a low C IF i get everything right....

pardon me while i go cry some more....