my husband doesn't need to beat me. i beat myself.

remember that 7000 lb tv i moved the other day.... alll by myself from the back of my truck, up my driveway and to the very tip of the garage (as i was NOT going to move it ANY further than necessary)

(click on the picture to see the bruises....)

the flash went off, so you can't see them as good as you can in person... lean AWAY from the computer to see them better, and i just realized it looks like i peed my pants. i'm pretty sure i didn't....

so, as it is shorts season, i'm pretty certain that when i wear these out in public with jason, people probably are giving him the stink eye assuming that he has likely caused me this harm.... and that i had to come up with this horrible story about lifting a super heavy tv all by myself out of the back of the truck which caused the bruising.... at least i didn't say i fell down the stairs.... cuz i really DID do that last october.... does anyone remember that?? concrete stairs at the airport picking up my stepmom in the rain, when i forgot my cell phone and lewie was like 3 months old and instead of breaking my fall, i held on tight to him and instead fractured my tailbone as i slid down FIVE concrete steps.... yeah. hiiiii everyone!!! those stupid "coverup stories.?" they're not cover ups here.... they're REAL!!! i am THE CLUMSIEST SOUL YOU WILL EVER MEET!!!! i could tell you SO many more clumsy stories about myself.... but that would be far too long of a post for right now....

actually i WILL tell you more clumsy stories....

when i was younger, we did this walk/parade type thing for the troops during the gulf war.... i was young.... and walking....

walking proud along the streets of my hometown.... i'm walking, looking to my left, cheering and chanting, when i decide that i should PROBABLY look forward in order to prevent *BAM* running into a pole.... yeah.... looked forward a little too late.... smashed RIGHT into a freakin pole. a street light. smashed my glasses all up in my face and i cried. hard. and loud..... i'm pretty sure i embarrassed the crap out of myself mom.... but whatever.... i don't remember what happened next.... i probably blacked out and was like rushed to the hospital and was declared a hero for being injured while marching for our troops or something... or maybe my mom just marched me home. i can't remember....

i'll save the rest for some other time.... timessssss.s.s..... there are multiple clumsy times....