i can't title this post, cuz there isn't a good title for it.

I'm full of details. My husband doesn't like details (when I'm telling stories, anyway).  But I feel like I can't go on without telling you all about the details and small steps in between.  Like I can't just go, "oh hey, we're trying to eat healthy. I have a runny nose. We almost died on december 30th. My dog farted. Okay, have a good day!"   Well, I could in the midst of one of my A.D.D moments, but most likely, I'd have to tell you the WHOOOOOOOOOOOLE story that went along with all of those little teasers....

January 1st.  My husband asks me to watch a movie with him.  Actually, it's a documentary called, "Forks Over Knives," and it pretty much just came out of no where... like bird poop on your head.... or those awful diarrhea cramps that have you hunched over your steering wheel, barely able to hold your head high enough over the speedometer, praying to God you make it home in time..... Anyway, it was like seconds before the movie started, I'm shoveling See's Candy Toffeettes (I don't even know how to spell them. I just eat them) in my face.... and then next thing you know, I'm standing in the kitchen with a 13 gallon trash bag with both refrigerator doors open, holding it open at my feet, all pumped to throw shit away.... Long story short, it was motivating enough to get me to agree with my husband that I will too, indeed, join him on his attempt at this whole food, plant based diet.  Today is the 8th, and so far, I'm still pretty solid.... except for the first few days, I thought I was going to physically turn inside out because I wanted sweets SOOOO bad.  I am certain I am a sugar-a-holic. Yes, those are real addicts. I am one. I am also a chocoholic. And a sweetsaholic. And a husbandaholic (only for my own husband though).... and brownies..... ooooohhhhhh, you don't even know my obsession with brownies and chocolate chip cookies.  The other day, I texted Jason (the hubby), about 3 (or 43940884837 million times) and calmly expressed my concern for my health and the possibility of turning inside out due to my lack of sweets.  I was desperate. Like desperate, desperate.  I had eaten leftover veggie pasta for lunch.... and then I was still hungry, so I made some oatmeal and I was still hungry, so I ate grapenuts.... and then after eating all that crap, I thought, I should have just eaten brownies.  At least I wouldn't have felt like I ate 12 lbs of food and was still hungry.  Okay, so that passed, and I have to say that besides my nose running (because it's cold in the house, which is another story), I actually feel really great.  I'll let you know how I feel in a few days.

I have a runny nose. Yes, I do, because it's cold. And when I say cold, I mean California cold.  This morning was 38 degrees when I loaded up all the kids to take Taylor to school.  To me, that is cold.  Our house is about 58 degrees when I wake up in the morning.  To me, that is cold.  When I run the heat, in the winter, I usually set the thermostat at about 67 or 68 degrees.  "Then why don't you turn your heater/furnace on," you're asking, right?  Well that's another story.

December 30th.  We were all just sitting around on a normal night.  Jason was on Vacation.  We had had a few glasses of wine and were just relaxing. Jason was watching football, I was browsing the internet and the kids were just laying low (believe it or not).  We had the heater on, and the fireplace going (gas logs, in case you're wondering).... All of a sudden, an alarm starts going off in our house.  It didn't sound like your regular smoke alarm, I mean, not that I've ever set it off or anything, but it just sounded different.  For whatever reason, my instincts told me it was the CO detectors.  I just opened up the sliders and windows and doors immediately and ventured to the hallway.  It was, indeed, the CO detector.  (we have two)  Jason was taking it down to try to shut it off.  He says, "It's fine. It's probably just the battery,"  Except, it wouldn't shut off.  AAAAAAAnd then, the second detector starts alarming.   As he is messing with the first one, I took the second one down, and read the instructions. It was telling us to move to fresh air.  I didn't wait another minute. I just got the kids (and asia and her big bone that she got for Christmas that makes her farts smell like she's rotting from the inside out) and we went outside.  I told Jason that we needed to call the fire department like it said to.  He didn't seem to think it was necessary, but I've never had any experience with Carbon Monoxide, and I certainly didn't want to experiment with it this night.  So I looked up the fire department's number, gave em a jingle and they came on over.... a whole bunch of them.  They needed to call for back up for the truck with a carbon monoxide tester.  (which seems like they should all stock them, or maybe that's just me). Seems pretty expensive to send another truck over just for that.  Anyway, 2nd truck shows up.  I now have like 12 firemen in my house.  "Any dizziness? headaches?" I'm feeling fuzzy and my typical ashley response, "from the wine? or the carbon monoxide?"  The head guy, captain? chief? I don't know which, calibrates his machine and doesn't read any traces of carbon monoxide.  He closes all the windows and doors and turns the furnace/heater back on and heads to Lewie's room.  In about a minute, the numbers spiked to 45 ppm.  "Turn it off. Numbers spiked quick."  We had to reopen all the doors and windows again.  They turned off the gas to the unit, told us to call the gas company and not use the unit anymore.  On their way out, the last fireman turned to us, and said, "I'm so glad you guys called us. A lot of people don't have these detectors and had you not called, we would have been responding to a much worse situation, with you all deceased."  Moral of the story.... GET CARBON MONOXIDE DETECTORS IN YOUR HOME, or you could just think you're really buzzed off some good wine, but in fact be slowly dying a carbon monoxide death.  Okay, not really, but you could just not wake up. =(  I seriously joked about it that night, but then cried in the shower the next day when I woke up and realized that just.like.that, our entire family of four, plus Asia, could have been killed, and what an AWFUL thing someone would have to walk in to.... It would just flip someone's world upside down. UGH!  Okay, so go get your carbon monoxide detectors.  If you can't afford it, email me privately and I'll buy and send you one. seriously.

okay.... now that I feel like we're getting a little more comfy again, I think I can start my normal ranting about complete nonsense posts. =)  I'm glad you're here.... and even more so, I'm glad I'm here.  It feels good to be back....