my.grain.

I have a horrible migraine.... It hurts so much so that I'm contemplating when the "moment" will come when I'll throw the blankets across the bed, dramtically uncovering jason (who is sleeping in his underwear.... Don't be jealous). I'm afraid that I'll be snuggling with the toilet rather than my husband tonight....
Which brings be to the porcelain God or Goddess....

You know that feeling when you KNOW you're going to throw up, but you just haven't reached it yet.... The point when your mouth starts salvating (is that even a word, or the correct spelling?) Where your mouth is just watering profusely, because the vomit is like slowly working its way from the stomach acid churning in your stomach... It's like pressing the rewind button on your peristalsis.... It's like throwing your esophagus into reverse, and your esophageal sphincter is just waiting for the acid (and whatever else is leftover in there....) In my case, some peppermint white mocha frapp, 3 quarters of a steak taco from La Salsa, some double brownie madness chunks, lots of ice water and about 76 mg of imitrex (I bit it unevenly).... All of it is just waiting and fighting to make its grand entrance into the toilet.... And just when you hit that point where you KNOW you'll feel better once you hurl, you find yourself hopelessly draped over the toilet seat like a dryer sheet stuck in your pant leg. You're wrapped around the toilet seat, staring into your dog's waterbowl (not your dog? Oh.... Mine either.) Do you ever do that thing where you dry heave and think, "oh here it comes!!!!" And then you stop.

And then it's like, "ohhhh this one is it!!!" *dry heave* and still, nothing....

Or am I the only one who, once I am over the toilet, just wants to puke and start feeling better already, so you start imagining all the butts that sit on the seat.... And then what they do while they're sitting there.... Farting.... Into the toilet water that your face is now so close, you could almost drink it.... Or pooping out 2 day old pot roast and rotten milk. Well, it wasn't rotten when they drank it, but now it's rotten.... And full corn kernels.... Or ice cream.... Or 16 beers.... Ew.... Do you ever think that people poop right after they've peed in there and it MIGHT have splashed up onto the seat that your face is now touching?

No?? Yeah I don't either.... I was just wondering if there were any weird, sick people out there....

Glad I'm not weird or disgusting....